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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

One inspiring message that adults tell to children is that they could achieve anything if they work hard enough. By giving this message to kids, there are advantages and disadvantages as children can interpret it in misleading ways and might result in inappropriate actions when they grow up. When kids heard this message, they could be inspired by it as they will believe that they have to try hard in order to get what they want. This creates motivation for them and increases dedication in the work they are doing which might produce good results for them. For example, they are told to get snacks if they study hard enough, these children would be motivated to study as best as they can to get that prize. Most parents might start saying like this to their own children hoping them to get better grades for their future, but not much children would know the true significance of studying hard other than getting snacks. After these children grew up, they will practiced being motivated in all things that they do resulting in work dedication and being careful to get prizes; not snacks anymore, but reputation or the result that they hope it would be as they want it, they will do anything to get it. Although, previous scenario might be good, it also has another way as children can be too focused on getting what they want at the cost of anything, they can do anything. In fact, this is more dangerous and riskier than having advantages as children will start their bad behaviors and throw tantrums if they are at a young age. They might try their best to get the wanted prize, but his act might end up being an illegal act which comes from children growing up with a bad mindset. There is another way to this as well as children might be motivated by it but not end up in bad actions, but instead they make themselves too stressful as they believe that they will achieve the targeted goal if they work hard. However, life isn’t sprinkled with rose petals, and what they want might not come true which makes them even more stressed and tend to think badly about themselves that they are not able to achieve the goal while others can. If this continues, it is also a bad situation as they will love themselves less and have less self-confidence harming their mind and physical health. This proves that from one sentence with the aim of motivating children can lead up to many good and bad situations as the message is unclear and anyone can think of different definition for themselves In conclusion, telling children that they can get anything as long as they try hard might not be the best way of motivating them to do what they should do. Instead, telling other messages or explain to children the meaning and the aim of the message as well as keeping track of them and counsel them when they started to show stressful symptoms or emotions, or even a little praise would be a better way to motivate them to avoid them facing these problems and to strengthen them for the future bad situations that may happen in their life, so that they can cope with it and live with it without being too focused on something that might weighs down their life.
One inspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
that adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that they could achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. By giving this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
to kids, there are advantages and disadvantages as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can interpret it in misleading ways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
result in inappropriate actions when they grow up.

When kids heard this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
, they could
be inspired
by it as they will believe that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. This creates motivation for them and increases dedication in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they are doing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results for them.
For example
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
snacks if they study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
be motivated
to study as
Did you mean “good”?
best
as they can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that prize. Most parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
saying like this to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
hoping them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better grades for their future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
Use “many” with countable plural nouns like ‘children’.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would know the true significance of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
other than getting snacks. After these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grew up, they will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
practiced
being motivated
in all things that they do
After the auxiliary verb ‘do’, use the base form of a verb. Did you mean “result”?
resulting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
dedication and being careful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prizes; not snacks anymore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
reputation or the result that they hope it would be as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
it, they will do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.

Although, previous scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, it
also
has another way as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be too focused on getting what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
at the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
, they can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
. In fact, this is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and riskier than having advantages as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
behaviors and throw tantrums if they are at a young age. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
try their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the wanted prize,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his act
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being an illegal act which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing up with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
mindset. There is another way to this
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be motivated
by it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
actions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves too stressful as they believe that they will achieve the targeted goal if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
However
, life isn’t sprinkled with rose petals, and what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them even more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
badly
about themselves that they are not able to achieve the goal while others can. If this continues, it is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
situation as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
themselves less and have less self-confidence harming their mind and physical health. This proves that from one sentence with the aim of motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can lead up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
situations as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
is unclear and anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
definition for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
themselves


In conclusion
, telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
as long as they try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be the best way of motivating them to do what they should do.
Instead
, telling other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the meaning and the aim of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
as well
as keeping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of them and counsel them when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
stressful symptoms or emotions, or even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
praise would be a better way to motivate them to avoid them facing these problems and to strengthen them for the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
situations that may happen in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can cope with it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with it without being too focused on something that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
The modal verb ‘might’ requires the verb’s base form.
weighs
down their life.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
567 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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