Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some country university students live at home, while in other countries they go to other countries rather than live with their family. Do you think benefit of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages

In some country university students live at home, while in other countries they go to other countries rather than live with their family. Do you think benefit of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages jbmBw
It is true that in some certain nations, university students choose to living with their family instead of living in homestays or campus if condition permits. In my opinion of view, living away from home is more beneficial for students' development. On the one hand, living at home bring comfort and convenience for the university students since they could enjoy the care and attention from their parents and they can always rely on their family whenever they deal with challenges. In addition, a well-balance and nutrition are available at home, which is extremely effective in enhancing students' fitness. By contrast most students complain about the quality of food in canteen. On the other hand, despite the advantages of living at home, a range of students decide to living in the dormitory instead of their home. One of the main reasons is that, they want to be stronger and more independent in the future that will be the master factors to assist them overcome the difficulty period solely especially in their academic or even in their career path latter. Furthermore, this could be a great opportunity for them to gain new knowledges and experience about the other cultures or to enhance some non-academic skill, cooperation and problem solving when their peers have a different backgrounds. Thus it can be undeniable that living away from home could bring a huge benefit for the university students. In conclusion, despite the fact that university students can take a lot of advantages from living with their family, most students choose to live in other cities to pursue their further study simply because they want to be independent and mature enough to cope with every challenges in the life in the future.
It is true that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their family
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in homestays or campus if condition permits. In my opinion of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home is more beneficial for students' development. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at home bring comfort and convenience for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
since they could enjoy the care and attention from their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they can always rely on their family whenever they deal with challenges.
In addition
, a well-balance and nutrition are available at home, which is
extremely
effective in enhancing students' fitness. By contrast most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
complain about the quality of food in canteen.
On the other hand
, despite the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at home, a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the dormitory
instead
of their home. One of the main reasons is that, they want to be stronger and more independent in the future that will be the master factors to assist them overcome the difficulty period
solely
especially
in their academic or even in their career path latter.
Furthermore
, this could be a great opportunity for them to gain new
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
and experience about the other cultures or to enhance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
non-academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, cooperation and problem solving when their peers have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "background"?
backgrounds
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it can be undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home could bring a huge benefit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In conclusion
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their family, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in other cities to pursue their
further
study
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to be independent and mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cope with every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "challenge"?
challenges
in the life in the future.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some country university students live at home, while in other countries they go to other countries rather than live with their family. Do you think benefit of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts