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in some countries young people are not only richer but also safer and healthy and an ever before. however they are often less happy and more agitated in actions and behaviours

in some countries young people are not only richer but also safer and healthy and an ever before. however they are often less happy and more agitated in actions and behaviours EwMQb
Nowadays, the youth people of few countries are rich, sole, and healthy than before along that they are unhappy and very agtiated with their attitudes and behave. The good education help them to became independent and extra cariculam activities make them active and safe. However, the fullfillment with their ownself and great communication can help them to reduce their unhappy and rude behavior condition. Firstly, the better education and curriculum activites make them fit and healthy. The development of eduction nowadays make young people more independent. They use there skills and utilize them with their daily routine. As a result, they become a self dependent person and borrow their own cost. For instance, a young entrepreneur canhis educational and extra cariculim his activity to establish own company with motives and active mind. The two development such as fullfillment with ownself and good comunication can help them to reduce their unhappiness and agitated action. Most of the time young people can not manage time with their ownself. Because of that they feel lack of happyness. They can not interact with people and always busy with their skill development. The less communication also hamper their good behaviors towards others. The good communication help them to develop their action and behaviors with others. Forexample, a young nephew always share things with me and i guide him how tohandle a situation by this he is happy with his action. To conclude, young people may be rich, safe and health because of their good education and curriculum activities, but they also be happy using good communication and manage time for them.
Nowadays, the youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of few countries are rich, sole, and
Use "healthier" to make a comparison with this adjective.
healthy
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
along that they are unhappy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
agtiated
with their attitudes and behave. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to became independent and extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
cariculam
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them active and safe.
However
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfillment
with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
ownself
and great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their unhappy and rude behavior condition.

Firstly
, the better education and curriculum
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fit and healthy. The

development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eduction
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more independent. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use


there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and utilize them with their daily

routine.
As a result
, they become a self dependent person and borrow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cost.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
entrepreneur
Possible spelling mistake found.
canhis
educational and extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
cariculim
his activity to establish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with motives and active mind.

The two development such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfillment


with
Possible spelling mistake found.
ownself
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
comunication


can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their unhappiness

and agitated action. Most of the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not manage time with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
ownself
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of that they feel lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
happyness
. They can not interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and always busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development. The less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
also
hamper their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behaviors towards others. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to develop their action and behaviors with others.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Forexample
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
nephew always share things with me and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
guide him how
Possible spelling mistake found.
tohandle
a situation by this he is happy with his action.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be rich, safe and health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education and curriculum activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
be happy using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and manage time for them.
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IELTS essay in some countries young people are not only richer but also safer and healthy and an ever before. however they are often less happy and more agitated in actions and behaviours

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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