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A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community.

A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc. ). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. yJyM
In my opinion, the role of the government should encompass all sectors of the society, such as: provisions of health, education, national security and infrastructure. Private institutions can aid the delivery of these services thru subsidize methodology, however it should be the government's ultimate responsibility to execute such programs to the community. In this essay I will enumerate the reasons why. First, the government has more disposable funds compared to private enterprises. Funds that are accumulated thru tax from the citizen which are then stored to the national budget. Thru this monetary budget the government has all the liberty and the resources to implement and establish facilities so they can effectively deliver services to the people. For example, the national government could build hospitals and hire medical workers to cater to the ill or create campuses to educate
In my opinion, the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should encompass all sectors of the society, such as: provisions of health, education, national security and infrastructure. Private institutions can aid the delivery of these services
The word 'thru' is informal. Consider replacing it with "through".
thru
subsidize methodology,
however
it should be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's ultimate responsibility to execute such programs to the community. In this essay I will enumerate the reasons why.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has more disposable funds compared to private enterprises. Funds that
are accumulated
The word 'thru' is informal. Consider replacing it with "through".
thru
tax from the citizen which are then stored to the national budget.
The word 'thru' is informal. Consider replacing it with "through".
Thru
this monetary budget the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has all the liberty and the resources to implement and establish facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
effectively
deliver services to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could build hospitals and hire medical workers to cater to the ill or create campuses to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
educate
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IELTS essay A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc. ). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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