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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. beXX
There has been much debate in several nations whether younger generations are better to postpone university studies for a year or directly applying to the university. Some people argue that by taking one year break younger generations could explore knowledge and skills in workplaces or other places which will benefit them, while others disagree and argue the idea will give students plenty of disadvantages. This essay will present both views and argue that the advantages for young adults who take a year break outweigh its drawbacks. To begin with, it may be asserted that postponing a year for university studies makes younger generations have to allocate their time to find and make new friends. This is because most of their peers from the same school will start one year ahead and there would be a little chance of them could be study in the same class. Furthermore, if youngsters fail to find trustworthy colleagues, they will face difficulties in completing university assignment and exams. Consequently, they may graduate in low score or GPA which could affect to their future career. On the other hand, delaying study at university has enormous benefits for the students’ development and career path. Firstly, they could gain the essential insight and skills in workplaces during a year. Moreover, more and more companies advertise job opportunities with requirements that applicants should have at least one year experience, which certainly most of the university graduates are not eligible for these positions. Secondly, younger generations can use their break time wisely to explore and plan their journey ahead. This is because, according to the survey, many of students quit study at university because they felt the courses were not in line with their passion because they did not plan carefully before while choosing the department. In conclusion, even though there is one possible drawback for students who postpone university study, it can be tackled by choosing their friends wisely while making a group discussion or doing assignments. On the other hand, taking one year break could definitely benefit youngsters because they can obtain one year work experience which is beneficial for their future career and they can use the time to think and plan carefully about the department they would like to choose at university that in line with their passion.
There has been much debate in several nations whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations are better to postpone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
or
directly
applying to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that by taking one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations could explore knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in workplaces or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places which will benefit them, while others disagree and argue the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of disadvantages. This essay will present both views and argue that the advantages for young adults who take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
outweigh its drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it may
be asserted
that postponing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
allocate their time to find and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of their peers from the same school will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
ahead and there would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chance of them could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Furthermore
, if youngsters fail to find trustworthy colleagues, they will face difficulties in completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
assignment and exams.
Consequently
, they may graduate in low score or GPA which could affect to their future career.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, delaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has enormous benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
development and career path.
Firstly
, they could gain the essential insight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in workplaces during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Moreover
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
advertise job opportunities with requirements that applicants should have at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
experience, which
certainly
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates are not eligible for these positions.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
time
wisely
to explore and plan their journey ahead. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, according to the survey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
quit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they felt the courses were not in line with their passion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they did not plan
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
while choosing the department.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is one possible drawback for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who postpone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, it can
be tackled
by choosing their friends
wisely
while making a group discussion or doing assignments. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, taking one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
could definitely benefit youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can obtain one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
work experience which is beneficial for their future
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
career and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and plan
carefully
about the department they would like to choose at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that in line with their passion.
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IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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