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In some countries, the number of shootings increases because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In some countries, the number of shootings increases because many people have guns at home. v. 1
The topic of “throwaway society” has been discussed in recent years. In this society, people tend to throw away their old items regardless of whether or not they still work and purchase the latest version of things. This essay will look at some primary reasons for this phenomenon and the adverse impacts that it could have on individuals and the environment. There are several causes of the throwaway society and I think advertising could be the first culprit. Advertisements encourage people to purchase goods and services that they do not really need by delivering a message that possessing the latest version of an item could improve a person’s self-image, confidence and even social status. For example, many of today’s teenagers spend nearly $1, 500 buying iPhone X to show that they are wealthy and fashionable even though their old phones are still in good condition and perfectly functional. Another cause is mass production of non-durable goods which are often used once and thrown away. These products are much cheaper and more convenient than durable ones, hence, attract a large number of customers. Individuals living in the throwaway society could suffer a great deal. They could easily get into serious debt if they get into the habit of buying the latest, novelty items. Many teens are being burdened with thousands of dollars in credit card debt for their unnecessary purchases, which could lead to depression and anxiety. Environmental degradation is another problem facing the throwaway society. Due to excessive production of disposable goods, huge amounts of hazardous waste are being discharged into the environment, which directly contaminates soil and water. In conclusion, there are various factors leading to the advent of our throwaway society and increasing consumer debt and environmental damage are the two major problems which result from this society.
The topic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society”
has
been discussed
in recent years. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to throw away their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
items regardless of
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
they
still
work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the latest version of things. This essay will look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary reasons for this phenomenon and the adverse impacts that it could have on individuals and the environment.

There are several causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
advertising could be the
first
culprit. Advertisements encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services that they do not
really
need by delivering a message that possessing the latest version of an item could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a person’s self-image, confidence and even social status.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
spend
nearly
$1, 500 buying iPhone X to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they are wealthy and fashionable
even though
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
phones are
still
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
condition and
perfectly
functional. Another cause is mass production of non-durable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
once and thrown away. These products are much cheaper and more convenient than durable ones,
hence
, attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
customers.

Individuals living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
could suffer a great deal. They could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into serious debt if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the habit of buying the latest, novelty items.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
teens are
being burdened
with thousands of dollars in credit card debt for their unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, which could lead to depression and anxiety. Environmental degradation is another problem facing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Due to excessive production of disposable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, huge amounts of hazardous waste are
being discharged
into the environment, which
directly
contaminates soil and water.

In conclusion
, there are various factors leading to the advent of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and increasing consumer debt and environmental damage are the two major problems which result from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the number of shootings increases because many people have guns at home. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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