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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? w5nr
In a great number of countries the middle weight of humans are rising and in terms of their degrees of healthy and sportive lifestyles are reducing. Firstly this essay will discuss unhealthy food as the main reason of this issue and secondly will show government-based campaigns could have a major role in solving these problems. First and foremost, in today’s world people are willing to eat unhealthy sustenance which has a negative impact on their health greatly. Consequently, being unaware of its results humans tend to eat a great proportion of it, even without satisfying they might buy fast food and go on eating at home. In other words, these kinds of ready-made food have an ability in strengthening people’s hunger feeling and they can not transmit a satisfying signal to their brains, as well as, their could face overweight problems more easily. For example, according to a questionnaire held among consumers in Fast Food restaurants in California 6 out of 10 people have obese problems. On the other hand, in any case government -based campaigns could be beneficial in numerous aspects. In their daily life a wide range of people could be inspired by these awarenesses such as any TV program closely connected with losing weight and being healthy, otherwise, sports halls which suggest reasonable prices, advertisements with a purpose of demonstrating basic activities. Furthermore, using or executing these displays reguarly people who suffer from their weight problems could contribute to their health and physical appearances in a positive way. For instance, according to BBC news, TV accounts for the greatest percentage in conrolling people’s thoughts. In conclusion, in most countries there is a significant increase in the average weight of people and this problem has a detrimental influence in decreasing their healthy and physical structures. Moreover, unhealthy lifestyles could affect this problem in a negative manner, however, if government take strict measures about it such as compaigns of rising predictions this issue could be tackled respectively.
In a great number of countries the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of humans are rising and in terms of their degrees of healthy and sportive lifestyles are reducing.
Firstly
this essay will discuss unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as the main reason of this issue and
secondly
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-based campaigns could have a major role in solving these problems.

First
and foremost, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to eat unhealthy sustenance which has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their health
greatly
.
Consequently
, being unaware of its results humans tend to eat a great proportion of it, even without satisfying they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and go on eating at home.
In other words
, these kinds of ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
have an ability in strengthening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
hunger
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
feeling and
they can not transmit a satisfying signal to their brains,
as well
as, their could face overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
more
easily
.
For example
, according to a questionnaire held among consumers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
restaurants in California 6 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have obese problems.

On the other hand
, in any case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-based campaigns could be beneficial in numerous aspects. In their daily life a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be inspired
by these
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarenesses
such as any TV program
closely
connected with losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and being healthy,
otherwise
, sports halls which suggest reasonable prices, advertisements with a purpose of demonstrating basic activities.
Furthermore
, using or executing these displays
Possible spelling mistake found.
reguarly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
could contribute to their health and physical appearances in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
For instance
, according to BBC news, TV accounts for the greatest percentage in
Possible spelling mistake found.
conrolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
thoughts.

In conclusion
, in most countries there is a significant increase in the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has a detrimental influence in decreasing their healthy and physical structures.
Moreover
, unhealthy lifestyles could affect this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
manner,
however
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
take strict measures about it such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
compaigns
of rising predictions this issue could
be tackled
respectively
.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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