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In some countries, students pay their fee whereas in others government do. Do you think if government pay the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages

In some countries, students pay their fee whereas in others government do. Do you think if government pay the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages YRppm
Colleges and universities are institutes where children learn skills. In some countries the authority pay high chunk of money required for the admission of pupils. However in others, they pay themselves. It is believed that if state pay their fee than it will have more merits than demirts. I largely disaccord with this statement and will illustrate my view in further essay. To embark with, the paying of government can have numerous drawbacks. Firstly. if government pay the currency for admission of students then it will add an extra expense on it. The authority had to spend a large proportion of money on the fees which it tend to spend for the development of country by constructing roads, dams and so on. Consequently, paying fees of youngsters can lead to a burden on government and can become a rock in the development of nation. Secondly, if authority pay the fees of adults then they will depend on the government whereas if they pay themselves then they can get the send of self dependent. They would do certain kind of part time job to continue their studies. Hence, they will learn the value of money and learn how to manage it which would be beneficial for them in the near future. For instance, one of friends who is residing in Canada, live on her own expenses and I have observed that she is more confident and self dependent from all of my other friends. On the other hand, the paying of government can also be advantageous. The students will be stressed regarding how to pay their fees. For example, I myself belong to a nuclear family and i was worried about the money to be spend on my study. Afterwards, i get scholarship i feel very relaxed and stress-free. In conclusion, although if students pay themselves it will have alot of advantages such as self dependent in children and less burden on state yet it's disadvantages like mental stress on pupils cannot be ignored.
Colleges and universities are institutes where children learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries the authority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
high chunk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
required for the admission of pupils.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in others, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
themselves. It
is believed
that if state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
than it will have more merits than
Possible spelling mistake found.
demirts
. I
largely
Possible spelling mistake found.
disaccord
with this statement and will illustrate my view in
further
essay.

To embark with, the paying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can have numerous drawbacks.
Firstly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the currency for admission of students then it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
an extra expense on it. The authority had to spend a large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
which it
Did you mean "tends"?
tend
to spend for the development of country by constructing roads, dams and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Consequently
, paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
of youngsters can lead to a burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and can become a rock in the development of nation.

Secondly
, if authority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
of adults then they will depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
whereas if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
themselves then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
of self dependent. They would do certain kind of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job to continue their studies.
Hence
, they will learn the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and learn how to manage it which would be beneficial for them in the near future.
For instance
, one of friends who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'friends' should be used.
is
residing in Canada,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
expenses and I have observed that she is more confident and self dependent from all of my other friends.

On the other hand
, the paying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
also
be advantageous. The students will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
regarding how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
.
For example
, I myself belong to a nuclear family and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was worried
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
on my study. Afterwards,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scholarship
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relaxed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free.

In conclusion
, although if students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
themselves it will have
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of advantages such as self dependent in children and less burden on state
yet
it's disadvantages like mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on pupils cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, students pay their fee whereas in others government do. Do you think if government pay the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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