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In some countries some people are taking high salaries. Some people think its good for country.and some think government should control and limit the salaries of people . Discuss both views and give your opening

In some countries some people are taking high salaries. Some people think its good for country. and some think government should control and limit the salaries of people. Discuss both views and give your opening wBlPr
It is argued that excessive remuneration is being earned by people in several nations. Fewer individuals meditate that it is beneficial for state. However, some trust that the kingdom must manage and restrict the high income of people. But I think it is good for country and for person themselves such as they can live independently and high pay in people could support needy persons as well. This essay will highlight both sides of scenario. Firstly, in fewer states many people are paid high because they work hard and deserved to be rewarded. It is good for person mental health they could work and live life with peace of mind. Secondly, they can support others which is also a kind of decreasing burdon on government and helping needy people could prevent them to go for crimes. This is also good for authorities. The flip side of issue, paying high salaries to some people could make them greedy so they will work continuely without breaks and off days. Which might effect on their health status. Additionally, paying some people high could make people jealous who’s are earning less. furthermore persons with low salary might harm individuals with high profit. Moreover, high earning might make people less value of money and fall for bad habits such as smoking, alcoholic and spending money unnecessarily. In conclusion, it is still debatable wether people should pay high or low. However, according to my notion government must pay deserving amount so public can work with satisfaction and could support needy families as well. which is good for prevention of nation poverty.
It
is argued
that excessive remuneration is
being earned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in several nations. Fewer individuals meditate that it is beneficial for state.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trust that the kingdom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
manage and restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for country and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
themselves such as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could support needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
as well
. This essay will highlight both sides of scenario.
Firstly
, in fewer states
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and deserved to
be rewarded
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
mental health they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life with peace of mind.
Secondly
, they can support others which is
also
a kind of decreasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
burdon
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and helping needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them to go for crimes. This is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for authorities. The flip side of issue, paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them greedy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
continuely
without breaks and off days.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
might
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on their health status.
Additionally
, paying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
jealous who’s are earning less.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
with low salary might harm individuals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
profit.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earning might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less value of money and fall for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as smoking, alcoholic and spending money
unnecessarily
.
In conclusion
, it is
still
debatable
Possible spelling mistake found.
wether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
or low.
However
, according to my notion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay deserving amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
public can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with satisfaction and could support needy families
as well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for prevention of nation poverty.
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Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In some countries some people are taking high salaries. Some people think its good for country. and some think government should control and limit the salaries of people. Discuss both views and give your opening

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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