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discus both ideas and give your opinion

discus both ideas and give your opinion RNok8
​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ In recent years, the public has been divided on the issue of making certain vaccinations compulsory for children, in both developed and developing countries. Although some believe the right to refuse vaccination should be respected, in my view, making such vaccinations a legal obligation appears more reasonable overall. There are certain reasons why parents should have the right to refuse to vaccinate their kids. First, many vaccines are prohibitively expensive, which discourages parents from disadvantaged backgrounds from vaccinating their children. In fact, if low-income households were legally required to immunize their kids with those vaccines, many may choose to either delay or refuse vaccinations altogether, since the costs constitute a financial burden for them. In addition, many people are concerned about the side effects of various types of vaccines. For example, it is not advisable that kids with certain medical conditions be vaccinated, as that may cause severe allergic reactions or even permanent damage to them. Nevertheless, the benefits of vaccination clearly overshadow any potential drawbacks. First, mass vaccination campaigns for children mean there would be fewer or no cases of some illnesses in the future, thus saving enormous amounts of time and effort to treat them. In fact, thanks to immunization programs backed by governments, the incidence of various contagious diseases has been greatly reduced, and in certain cases such as small pox, totally eliminated. Besides, if vaccination regulations come into play, many kids, especially those in rural areas, will be able to survive widespread epidemics that affect plenty of communities. As a result, parents should be encouraged to get their kids immunized, thereby significantly improving their future health prospects. In conclusion, although some parents may be reluctant to vaccinate their children because of concerns about costs or side effects, introducing laws with regard to vaccination should be encouraged, as it means reduced incidence of certain contagious diseases and is more cost-effective in the long term.
​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

In recent years, the public has
been divided
on the issue of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
vaccinations compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, in both developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe the right to refuse vaccination should
be respected
, in my view, making such vaccinations a legal obligation appears more reasonable
overall
.

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should have the right to refuse to vaccinate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vaccines are
prohibitively
expensive, which discourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
from disadvantaged backgrounds from vaccinating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In fact, if low-income households were
legally
required to immunize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
with those vaccines,
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
many may
choose to either delay or refuse vaccinations altogether, since the costs constitute a financial burden for them.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about the side effects of various types of vaccines.
For example
, it is not advisable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
medical conditions
be vaccinated
, as that may cause severe allergic reactions or even permanent damage to them.

Nevertheless
, the benefits of vaccination
clearly
overshadow any potential drawbacks.
First
, mass vaccination campaigns for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mean there would be fewer or no cases of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illnesses in the future,
thus
saving enormous amounts of time and effort to treat them. In fact, thanks to immunization programs backed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, the incidence of various contagious diseases has been
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
cases such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pox,
totally
eliminated.
Besides
, if vaccination regulations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into play,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
especially
those in rural areas, will be able to survive widespread epidemics that affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of communities.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
immunized, thereby
significantly
improving their future health prospects.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may be reluctant to vaccinate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of concerns about costs or side effects, introducing laws with regard to vaccination should
be encouraged
, as it means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
incidence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
contagious diseases and is more cost-effective in the long term.
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IELTS essay discus both ideas and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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