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In some countries, prisons are the most common solution to crimes. However, some others believe that education is a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In some countries, prisons are the most common solution to crimes. However, some others believe that education is a more effective solution. v. 1
Many people believe that the reduction of the crime rate will be achieved more effectively through better education rather than prison sentences. I disagree with this view, because I consider that both approaches have their own distinctive merits and should each play an integral role in tackling crime. On the one hand, I would argue that prison is effective in dealing with offenders. One reason is that a person who commits a crime must learn that unlawful actions have consequences. Murderers, for instance, must be imprisoned for many years and such a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their loved ones if they carry out such a criminal act. Another reason is that when serious offenders are behind bars, they are no longer a danger to society and people can walk in the streets or relax in their homes more safely. On the other hand, I consider that education has a complementary role to play. Firstly, in schools, students should study some aspects of the law which affect their lives. Having some knowledge of the law, students are better prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in crime or becoming a victim. For example, youngsters must study the important laws about driving and road safety. Secondly, in prisons themselves, educational programmes must aim to provide prisoners with skills and qualifications to find work when they are released. I believe that prison sentences are one essential weapon in the fight against crime, and I disagree that providing better education alone is a more effective solution to reduce the crime rate
Many
people
believe that the reduction of the
crime
rate will
be achieved
more
effectively
through better education
rather
than
prison
sentences. I disagree with this view,
because
I consider that both approaches have their
own
distinctive merits and should each play an integral role in tackling crime.

On the one hand, I would argue that
prison
is effective in dealing with offenders. One reason is that a person who commits a
crime
must
learn that unlawful actions have consequences. Murderers,
for instance
,
must
be imprisoned
for
many
years and such a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their
loved
ones if they carry out such a criminal act. Another reason is that when serious offenders are behind bars, they are no longer a
danger
to society and
people
can walk in the streets or relax in their homes more
safely
.

On the other hand
, I consider that education has a complementary role to play.
Firstly
, in schools, students should study
some
aspects of the law which affect their
lives
. Having
some
knowledge of the law, students are better prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in
crime
or becoming a victim.
For example
, youngsters
must
study the
important
laws about driving and road safety.
Secondly
, in
prisons
themselves, educational
programmes
must
aim to provide prisoners with
skills
and qualifications to find work when they
are released
.

I believe that
prison
sentences are one essential weapon in the fight against
crime
, and I disagree that providing better education alone is a more effective solution to
reduce
the
crime
rate
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay In some countries, prisons are the most common solution to crimes. However, some others believe that education is a more effective solution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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