Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, people of all age groups engage in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

In some countries, people of all age groups engage in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or disadvantages of this trend? Pg11B
In recent years, individuals spend a lot of time on outdoor activities. While a sizable percentage of people hold a point of view that participating in too many sports brings full benefits, others believe an opposite opinion. However, I was strongly convinced with the latter view for the following justifications. The primary reason is that over-exercising drives various drawbacks to individuals’ physical health. This could be explained by the fact that the more activities you participate in, the higher the probability of injuries is. Furthermore, the overwhelming amount of exercise can exhaust players who are just amateur beginners. For this reason, people may suffer from heart disease or high blood pressure if they cannot control their amount of exercise. According to a convincing survey from a sports hospital, there are 30% of patients with injuries having an operation due to over-exercising. Another noticeable weakness is that overtraining creates numerous undesirable consequences to a human's mental well-being. As a matter of fact, the moods are intensively boosted after working out, people are not capable of concentrating on other activities. Owing to the decline in work efficiency, it is understandable that individuals have to confront much more pressure, which can lead to fatigue. In other words, this poses a threat to players to become sleepless. To exemplify, famous athletes during training sessions with high-intensity exercises need a psychological doctor to support them deal with the side effects of hours practicing in courts. However, by stark contrast, engaging in too many sports is of great advantages to the business. It means that companies make a huge profit from the exceeding in the training of individuals. Obviously, organizations such as gyms receive such an amount of practicing fee from people exercising for hours daily. That is also the reason why more and more businessmen invest money in developing this topic. In particular, there is a substantial growth of 150% in the number of sports rooms in Hanoi in the last 3 years. To conclude, for all irrefutable above-mentioned merits, overexerting could be seen as the culprit for individuals, or it could be harnessed to improve the economies.
In recent years,
individuals
spend
a lot of
time on outdoor activities. While a sizable percentage of
people
hold a point of view that participating in too
many
sports
brings full benefits, others believe an opposite opinion.
However
, I was
strongly
convinced with the latter view for the following justifications.

The primary reason is that over-exercising drives various drawbacks to
individuals’
physical health. This could be
explained
by the fact that the more activities you participate in, the higher the probability of injuries is.
Furthermore
, the overwhelming amount of exercise can exhaust players who are
just
amateur beginners.
For this reason
,
people
may suffer from heart disease or high blood pressure if they cannot control their amount of exercise. According to a convincing survey from a
sports
hospital, there are 30% of patients with injuries having an operation due to over-exercising.

Another noticeable weakness is that
overtraining
creates numerous undesirable
consequences to
a human's mental well-being. As a matter of fact, the moods are
intensively
boosted after working out,
people
are not capable of concentrating on other activities. Owing to the decline in work efficiency, it is understandable that
individuals
have to
confront much more pressure, which can lead to fatigue.
In other words
, this poses a threat to players to become sleepless. To exemplify,
famous
athletes during training sessions with high-intensity exercises need a psychological doctor to support them deal with the side effects of hours practicing in courts.

However
, by stark contrast, engaging in too
many
sports
is of great advantages to the business. It means that
companies
make
a huge profit from the exceeding in the training of
individuals
.
Obviously
, organizations such as gyms receive such an amount of practicing fee from
people
exercising for hours daily.
That is
also
the reason why more and more businessmen invest money in developing this topic.
In particular
, there is a substantial growth of 150% in the number of
sports
rooms in Hanoi in the last 3 years.

To conclude
, for all irrefutable above-mentioned merits, overexerting could be
seen
as the culprit for
individuals
, or it could
be harnessed
to
improve
the economies.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some countries, people of all age groups engage in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: