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In some countries people earn extremely high salaries

In some countries people earn extremely high salaries 0Aa1q

In some countries, people can earn extremely high salaries while others are struggling all over the world to make money to support their families. So, why not to equalize between all people? Why some of them are living in a high level and others are just waiting for money

In This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 countries, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 can earn extremely
 high salaries while others are struggling all over the world to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 money to support their families. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
So
, why not to equalize between all This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
? Why This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 of them are living in a high level This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:and many more
and others
 are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 waiting for Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphmoney.money!money?money:money,money;
money

IELTS essay In some countries people earn extremely high salaries

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

48 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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