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It seems that people often feel unhappy in their old age. What are the causes and solutions?

It seems that people often feel unhappy in their old age. What are the causes and solutions? Nr3Em
The fact that people tend are not live unhappily with their old age which is a subject of social concern. I am convinced by several causes of this problem, and that it is certain remedies to be taken to help the elderly to live with more joyful life after their retirement. This essay will grant us a chance to discuss the issue in more detail.
The fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
unhappily
with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age which is a subject of social concern. I
am convinced
by several causes of this problem, and that it is certain remedies to
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the elderly to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with more joyful life after their retirement.

This essay will grant us a chance to discuss the issue in more detail.
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IELTS essay It seems that people often feel unhappy in their old age. What are the causes and solutions?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
65 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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