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What are some of the factors in modern society that causes this stress and how we can reduce it?

What are some of the factors in modern society that causes this stress and how we can reduce it? PVkBd
Stress is becoming widely spread all over the world, causing people to suffer from it and there are many factors in our modern life that are responsible for this. But there are some ways of reducing the amount of effects it has on us. In oir developed world, there are many problems that we have never faced before. Firstly, there issues of unemployment in recent decades, there has been observed increasing unemployment because of automation and this leads people to concern about their work.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
is becoming
widely
spread all over the world, causing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to suffer from it and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors in our modern life that are responsible for this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways of reducing the amount of effects it has on us.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
oir
developed world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems that we have never faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Firstly
, there issues of unemployment in recent decades, there has
been observed
increasing unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of automation and this leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to concern about their work.

IELTS essay What are some of the factors in modern society that causes this stress and how we can reduce it?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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