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In some countries parents expect their children to spend more time in and after school so they have less free time.What are the positive and negative effects on children and society where they live.

In some countries parents expect their children to spend more time in and after school so they have less free time. What are the positive and negative effects on children and society where they live. x28YN
Initially, chatting about the studies. Undoubtedly, studies are a crucial part of every pupil's life especially in 21st century, as it is an era of technology. Not only in case of technology, but it plays a giant role in leading a life full of successful relationships, that may include your social affairs and family. The time children spend on their studies is an apple of cord between them and their parents. So, i would like to discuss impacts of learners spending less and more time on studies. Commencing with the pros of strategy of spending plenty of time on learning. Initially, more the time you repeat a topic, more you grab those deep facts. Furthermore, it increases your level of patience, which can be helpful for your goals for instance in case if you want to become a doctor you will need to have adequate patience. In addition, it may also help you to avoid distractions, that come into being when you study less time. Moreover, it may increase your levels of learning. On the other hand, if you consume most hours of your day in learning then learning no more would remain an interesting activity. Consequently, knowledge seekers would start hating and this may air up the levels of stress. As generally said all work and play makes jack a dull boy. Beginners would get no time to go for outing which consequently can harass their physical and mental development. Furthermore, burning midnight oil for studies does not really mean to study every now and then it simply signifies to the quality time which is fruitful. In nutshell, parents must understand the fact that it is quality that matters not the quantity. In addition, children must be given proper timetable that should suit their learning capabilities so that they can work upto their highest levels to have feathers of succes in their hats.
Initially
, chatting about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are a crucial part of every pupil's life
especially
in 21st century, as it is an era of technology. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in case of technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it plays a giant role in leading a life full of successful relationships, that may include your social affairs and family. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
children spend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is an apple of cord between them and their parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to discuss impacts of learners spending less and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on studies.

Commencing with the pros of strategy of spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Initially
, more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you repeat a topic, more you grab those deep facts.
Furthermore
, it increases your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of patience, which can be helpful for your goals
for instance
in case if you want to become a doctor you will need to have adequate patience.
In addition
, it may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to avoid distractions, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into being when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
, it may increase your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of learning.

On the other hand
, if you consume most hours of your day in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
no more would remain an interesting activity.
Consequently
, knowledge seekers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
hating and this may air up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. As
generally
said all work and play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
jack a dull boy. Beginners would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go for outing which
consequently
can harass their physical and mental development.
Furthermore
, burning midnight oil for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
does not
really
mean to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then it
simply
signifies to the quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which is fruitful.

In nutshell, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand the fact that it is quality that matters not the quantity.
In addition
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper timetable that should suit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capabilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can work
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
their highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
to have feathers of
Possible spelling mistake found.
succes
in their hats.
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IELTS essay In some countries parents expect their children to spend more time in and after school so they have less free time. What are the positive and negative effects on children and society where they live.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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