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In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 11jV7
educational route, albeit having some benefits, is not suitable for most families due to its drawbacks. Admittedly, the advantages of homeschooling are evident. The most commonly cited advantage of this choice is the flexibility of the timetable. Parents can select the most appropriate period to teach children which facilitates their work, maybe in the afternoon or evening instead of abiding by the arranged one in conventional institutions. Other advocates say that home-educated children are less likely to experience bullying and peer pressure, both of which can cause emotional and mental issues. Additionally, they point to the fact that parents can tailor their curriculum and pedagogical approaches to best suit their young ones. This is not the case in traditional schooling because of the crowded classroom. Finally, homeschooling focuses on comprehending concepts rather than memorizing information to pass exams. However, the issues involved in parents self-teaching children at home are more significant. First, this educational approach does not actually save money as parents need to pay a huge amount of finance for lab equipment and tutors, and mother or father may be cut off to cater for their child's needs, which usually results in financial burden in the long terms. Furthermore, most parents are not well-versed in all school subjects, hence, difficulties in properly explaining concepts for children and ultimately academic problems. Social troubles that children might be faced with at schools, such as bullying and romantic feelings for others can help them navigate social and workplace situations in the future. In conclusion, homeschooling can theoretically confer certain benefits. Nevertheless, they are often exaggerated or can be brought about by a scarce of parents who are extremely intelligent and can afford to stay at home. The aforementioned disadvantages of this method are more important.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
educational
route, albeit having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, is not suitable for most families due to its drawbacks.

Admittedly
, the advantages of homeschooling are evident. The most
commonly
cited advantage of this choice is the flexibility of the timetable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can select the most appropriate period to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which facilitates their work, maybe in the afternoon or evening
instead
of abiding by the arranged one in conventional institutions. Other advocates say that home-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are less likely to experience bullying and peer pressure, both of which can cause emotional and mental issues.
Additionally
, they point to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can tailor their curriculum and pedagogical approaches to best suit their young ones. This is not the case in traditional schooling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the crowded classroom.
Finally
, homeschooling focuses on comprehending concepts
rather
than memorizing information to pass exams.

However
, the issues involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
self-teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home are more significant.
First
, this educational approach does not actually save money as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to pay a huge amount of finance for lab equipment and tutors, and mother or father may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off to cater for their child's needs, which
usually
results in financial burden in the long terms.
Furthermore
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not well-versed in all school subjects,
hence
, difficulties in
properly
explaining concepts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
ultimately
academic problems. Social troubles that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
be faced
with at schools, such as bullying and romantic feelings for others can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them navigate social and workplace situations in the future.

In conclusion
, homeschooling can
theoretically
confer certain benefits.
Nevertheless
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exaggerated or can
be brought
about by
The phrase 'a scarce of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a scarce of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who are
extremely
intelligent and can afford to stay at home. The aforementioned disadvantages of this method are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

IELTS essay In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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