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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some regions of the world people consider it crucial to own a dwelling rather than rent it. This must be primarily because such a property gives a sense of stability, both financial and psychological, but may also be due to social conventions. In my opinion, this situation is positive since owners take better care of their homes than renters, and without the need to pay rent or mortgage can devote their time and money to other useful activities. First of all, people tend to prefer living in a house or apartment of their own because in this case they are not obliged to pay a large sum of money every month, be it for rent or mortgage. This, in its turn, lowers the chance of a lack of monetary resources and resulting debts, which consequently reduces the levels of stress. Therefore, real estate owners live more happily and sustain hope for a secure future. Another factor is that in many communities having a dwelling in their possession is regarded indispensable to any respectable person. That is to say that renters may be given a low social status and face discriminatory attitudes, such as being at a disadvantage while applying for a job. Whichever reasons motivate people to buy their homes instead of renting, this tendency is surely positive due to the associated stability. When people own their homes, they are much more keen to keep them in the best condition possible because they do not tend to relocate often. So, they refurbish them regularly, install technologically advanced equipment, and look after their gardens and neighbourhoods. In addition, they can volunteer in their free time to help the community, or donate money to charity, because they do not need to work day and night and spend most of their money for their homes. All of this brings benefits not only to them personally but to the society as a whole. In conclusion, people may find a number of motives to buy their homes, including stability and social pressure, and the fact that this happens increasingly often is undoubtedly positive as it leads to happier people living in better conditions.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a dwelling
rather
than rent it. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such a property gives a sense of stability, both financial and psychological,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may
also
be due to social conventions. In my opinion, this situation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
since owners take better care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
than renters, and without the need to pay rent or mortgage can devote their time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to other useful activities.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to prefer living in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or apartment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this case
they are not obliged to pay a large sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
every month, be it for rent or mortgage. This, in its turn, lowers the chance of a lack of monetary resources and resulting debts, which
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Therefore
, real estate owners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
happily
and sustain hope for a secure future. Another factor is that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities having a dwelling in their possession
is regarded
indispensable to any respectable person.
That is
to say that renters may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a low social status and face discriminatory attitudes, such as being at a disadvantage while applying for a job.

Whichever reasons motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
instead
of renting, this tendency is
surely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
due to the associated stability. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, they are much more keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in the best condition possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not tend to relocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they refurbish them
regularly
, install
technologically
advanced equipment, and look after their gardens and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbourhoods’ is British English.
neighbourhoods
.
In addition
, they can volunteer in their free time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community, or donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to charity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not need to work day and night and spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. All of this brings benefits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to them
personally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to the society as a whole.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find a number of motives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, including stability and social pressure, and the fact that this happens
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
is
undoubtedly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as it leads to happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in better conditions.
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IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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