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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In the current society, it is universally believed that our houses are playing increasingly important roles in our lives. But in the meantime, whether we should rent a house or just buy one has sparked much debate. In some countries，lots of people would like to own a home instead of renting one. Personally, I am in favour of this case and I think it is a positive phenomenon as far as stability and finance are concerned. First and foremost, owning a house is conducive to oneself's stability, as he can live in a place for a long time and need not to pay for others. To be more specific, he can live in his home whenever he want without fearing to be drop out by other people compared with renting a house from the owner of some houses. So I think it is beneficial to our stability to buy our own houses. Moreover，the fact that the price of the house are increasing steadily in a great number of countries indicates that we should buy our houses for investing. Take the example of Chixun, who previewed the rising trend of the price of the house in China and buy plenty of houses in 2015. As a result, he is far richer than anyone expected. Had it not been for, Chixun would never as rich as he is now. That is not to say that all of us should own a home and renting a home is totally unbeneficial. Of course, sometimes we do not have enough money to buy one and renting one is more feasible. But in the long view, buying a house for ourselves is always a good choice. In summary, I think owning a home have plenty of benefits, and I convinced that our government could take some measures to help more people to own their house.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society, it is
universally
believed that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are playing
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the meantime, whether we should rent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one has sparked much debate. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
The character ‘，’ is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use “countries, lots”.
countries，lots
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
one.
Personally
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of this case and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon as far as stability and finance
are concerned
.

First
and foremost, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is conducive to oneself's stability, as he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a place for a long time and need not
Did you mean “pay”?
to pay
for others. To be more specific, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in his home whenever he
The pronoun ‘he’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “wants”, “wanted”.
want
without fearing to be drop out by other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
from the owner of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is beneficial to our stability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

The character ‘，’ is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use “Moreover, the”.
Moreover，the
fact that the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
are increasing
steadily
in a great number of countries indicates that we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
for investing. Take the example of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chixun
, who previewed the rising trend of the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in China and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in 2015.
As a result
, he is far richer than anyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. Had it not been for,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chixun
would never as rich as he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

That is
not to say that all of us should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a home is
totally
Possible spelling mistake found.
unbeneficial
.
Of course
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
one is more feasible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the long view, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for ourselves is always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice.

In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
owning a home have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits, and I convinced that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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