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In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? VWP6
Nowadays, children and teenagers who are categorized as younger demographic are not much inclined to classical music as a result they don’t attract the potential talent and overall they do not actively participate in classical music concerts. Classical music hold it true significance in representation of culture and heritage. Therefore, the government and classical music community board must strategize measures to welcome the younger talent to sustain this form of music. Classical music is primarily influenced by regional culture practices and requires an extensive knowledge of regional language, musical notes and practice of musical instruments. The musical aspect may seem complex for a person from a non-art background and may require years of practice to master a particular for of classical music. For example: Since India is a multicultural country we have different forms of classical music such as Hindustani music and Carnatic music that is widely practiced in almost 35 languages. Therefore it is quite hard to learn a particular for of classical music. One of the best ways to encourage the participation is to change the current conventional method of conducting concerts. For instance, the concerts can be digitally conducted for a short period of time as most of younger generation are tech-savvy and is a great medium to increase the awareness and talent in short span of time. On the other hand, the artists can simplify the approach to classical music by conducting online seminars with renowned musicians and they can share their expertise so the younger people are not hesitant to approach the classical music. To illustrate, the artists can also include certain aspects of classical music in the extra-curricular activities in educational institution. In conclusion, the artists of different art form must collaborate and create approachable measures to digitally express the classical music art form through different means of technology. This way, the younger generation can contribute to a higher talent ratio in the field of classical music.
Nowadays, children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who
are categorized
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
demographic are not much inclined to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a result
they don’t attract the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and
overall
they do not
actively
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
concerts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
hold it true significance in representation of culture and heritage.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
community board
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
strategize measures to welcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
to sustain this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of music.

Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
primarily
influenced by regional culture practices and requires an extensive knowledge of regional language, musical notes and practice of musical instruments. The musical aspect may seem complex for a person from a non-art background and may require years of practice to master a particular for of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For example
: Since India is a multicultural country we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as Hindustani
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Carnatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that is
widely
practiced in almost 35 languages.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to learn a particular for of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
music.

One of the best ways to encourage the participation is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
conventional method of conducting concerts.
For instance
, the concerts can be
digitally
conducted for a short period of time as most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation are tech-savvy and is a great medium to increase the awareness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in short span of time.
On the other hand
, the artists can simplify the approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
by conducting online seminars with renowned
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
musicians and
they can share their expertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not hesitant to approach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. To illustrate, the artists can
also
include certain aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the extra-curricular activities in educational institution.

In conclusion
, the artists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
collaborate and create approachable measures to
digitally
express the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
means of technology. This way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation can contribute to a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
ratio in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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