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In some countries, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? What are the advantages and disadvantages of living alone? v.2

In some countries, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? What are the advantages and disadvantages of living alone? v. 2
In recent years, many people have chosen to live alone. One of the reasons that may lead to this choice is that people want to escape from family duties and regulations. In this essay, I will discuss the latter view, mentioning the merits and demerits of this decision. in my opinion, people seek to live alone to free themselves from any responsibilities towards their families. To clarify, parents always impose some rules on their children to bring up polite well-mannered adults. As a result of this, some of these adults tend to find this method as an obstacle to their freedom. Hence, they start to live alone away from their families in the pursuance of achieving liberty. On the one hand, living lonely will help people to be self-dependent persons. For example, if these individuals do not have someone to rely on, they will be their own saviors in all situations and conditions. Therefore, they are going to be able to deal with difficult circumstances without any worries or hesitations. on the flip side, being lonely may lead to hazardous psychiatric illnesses. depending on a result of recent research that was made by a group of Russian scientists, 50% of people who try to commit suicide are living without any companion. Thus, the lack of interaction with other people may result in an extreme depression which may lead to death. To recapitulate, people opt to live individually seeking liberty. Meanwhile, this choice could result in independent persons capable of facing hard live conditions, they may be subjected to some psychological diseases that can have a deleterious effect on their lives.
In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have chosen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone. One of the reasons that may lead to this choice is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to escape from family duties and regulations. In this essay, I will discuss the latter view, mentioning the merits and demerits of this decision.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone to free themselves from any responsibilities towards their families. To clarify, parents always impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on their children to bring up polite well-mannered adults. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these adults tend to find this method as an obstacle to their freedom.
Hence
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone away from their families in the pursuance of achieving liberty.

On the one hand, living lonely will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be self-dependent persons.
For example
, if these individuals do not have someone to rely on, they will be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
saviors in all situations and conditions.
Therefore
, they are going to be able to deal with difficult circumstances without any worries or hesitations.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the flip side, being lonely may lead to hazardous psychiatric illnesses.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
depending
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of recent research that
was made
by a group of Russian scientists, 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who try to commit suicide are living without any companion.
Thus
, the lack of interaction with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in an extreme depression which may lead to death.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
individually
seeking liberty. Meanwhile, this choice could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in independent persons capable of facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
conditions, they may
be subjected
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychological diseases that can have a deleterious effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? What are the advantages and disadvantages of living alone? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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