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In some countries, loneliness and isolation amongst older people is increasing and leading to mental health issues.

In some countries, loneliness and isolation amongst older people is increasing and leading to mental health issues. DY2nk
Isolation and loneliness amongst older adults are on the rise and often result in psychological issues for them. I will discuss some reasons for this unfortunate trend and will present some ideas on tackling the problem. There are many causes for the rise of mental health issues in the older population. Firstly, people are living longer these days thanks to medical advancements and improved living circumstances. As a result, more people are reaching advanced ages than ever before, but fewer young people are taking care of them. Often the elderly end up in aged care facilities, where they – removed from the bustle of everyday life – live a sheltered but lonely life. Another reason for the rise in mental health issues amongst the elderly is the switch from the traditionally large, multi-generational family to the small, nuclear family. Where once it was the norm to care for the ageing, nowadays this chore is outsourced. The results are busy aged-care facilities, run by underpaid staff, and – sadly – lonely elderly people living there. There are some compelling solutions for this issue. Firstly, the government should prioritise age-work and cultivate programs to engage young people visiting aged care facilities. As a result, the elderly will benefit from having younger people to interact with. More specifically, the young people could take the elderly for a weekly walk through the neighbourhood, read them a book, or engage in conversation. Secondly, families who decide to look after an elderly relative should receive support. Committing to caring for an older person might seem overwhelming for many families, but knowing that help and support would lighten the load and make this a more realistic option. In conclusion, the rise of a mental health crisis amongst the older population is undeniably caused by a change in society, but we must find ways to deal with it. Spending more time with the elderly and interacting with them in meaningful ways is one of many solutions to consider.
Isolation and loneliness amongst
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older
adults are on the
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rise
and
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often
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result
in psychological
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issues
for them. I will discuss
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some
reasons for this unfortunate trend and will present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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ideas
on tackling the problem.

There are
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many
causes for the
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rise
of mental health
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issues
in the
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older
population.
Firstly
,
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people
are living longer these days thanks to medical advancements and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
living circumstances. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, more
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people
are reaching advanced ages than ever
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before
,
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but
fewer young
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people
are taking
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care
of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
the
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elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in aged
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care
facilities, where they
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–
removed from the bustle of everyday life
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–
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a sheltered
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but
lonely life. Another reason for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in mental health
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issues
amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
is the switch from the
traditionally
large, multi-generational
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family
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, nuclear
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family
. Where once it was the norm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
, nowadays this chore
is outsourced
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
are busy aged-care facilities, run by underpaid staff, and
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
sadly
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–
lonely
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elderly
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people
living there.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compelling solutions for this
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issue
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
age-work and cultivate programs to engage young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
will benefit from having younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact with. More
specifically
, the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
for a weekly walk through the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, read them a book, or engage in conversation.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who decide to look after an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
relative should receive support. Committing to caring for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
person might seem overwhelming for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
knowing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and support would lighten the load and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this a more realistic option.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of a mental health crisis amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
population is
undeniably
caused by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find ways to deal with it. Spending more time with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
and interacting with them in meaningful ways is one of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions to consider.
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IELTS essay In some countries, loneliness and isolation amongst older people is increasing and leading to mental health issues.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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