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In some countries, it is usual for young people who graduate from high school to spend a year working or travelling before going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this? v.2

In some countries, it is usual for young people who graduate from high school to spend a year working or travelling before going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this? v. 2
Nowadays, spending a year working or travelling is becoming more and more common. In this essay, the pros and cons of taking a year off are mentioned below. On the one hand, having a gap year can make students unfamiliar with the studying habits. For example, if you do not practice the guitar for a long time, your fingers will not be as flexible as they used to be, thus your guitar skills will notably go down. Studying works similarly, therefore, the knowledge you have gained might be ignored if you do not use it over a year. In addition, your ability to concentrate on your studies will definitely be decreased. Furthermore, a gap year might be very expensive. Although this depends on where you go and what you do, overall, the price for a gap year program is about 20, 000 to 30, 000 dollars. This amount of money is as much as the annual fee on campus. On the other hand, spending a year working or travelling can give students a great deal of working experience. Employers have the tendency to be more impressed with young people with a sense of working, thus this is absolutely helpful for them to get a good job. Secondly, having a gap year might be the only chance for young people to visit different places. Graduates will move on to their career simultaneously, and in such a busy working environment, it is merely possible to meet new people, learn different cultures, and visit different heritages. To sum up, I think a gap year is advantageous for its foreseeable benefits.
Nowadays, spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or travelling is becoming more and more common. In this essay, the pros and cons of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off
are mentioned
below.

On the one hand, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students unfamiliar with the studying habits.
For example
, if you do not practice the guitar for a long time, your fingers will not be as flexible as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be,
thus
your guitar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
notably
go down. Studying works
similarly
,
therefore
, the knowledge you have gained might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
if you do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
In addition
, your ability to concentrate on your studies will definitely
be decreased
.
Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. Although this depends on where you go and what you do,
overall
, the price for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
program is about 20, 000 to 30, 000 dollars. This amount of money is as much as the annual fee on campus.

On the other hand
, spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or travelling can give students a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience. Employers have the tendency to be more impressed with young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
thus
this is
absolutely
helpful for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
Secondly
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
might be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
chance for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places. Graduates will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to their career
simultaneously
, and in such a busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment, it is
merely
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, and visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
heritages.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is advantageous for its foreseeable benefits.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, it is usual for young people who graduate from high school to spend a year working or travelling before going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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