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IN SOME COUNTRIES IT IS THOUGHT ADVISABLE THAT CHILDREN BEGIN FORMAL EDUCATION AT FOUR YEARS OLD, WHILE IN OTHERS THEY DO NOT HAVE TO START SCHOOL UNTIL THEY ARE SEVEN OR EIGHT. HOW FAR DO YOU AGREE WITH EITHER OF THESE VIEWS?

IN SOME COUNTRIES IT IS THOUGHT ADVISABLE THAT CHILDREN BEGIN FORMAL EDUCATION AT FOUR YEARS OLD, WHILE IN OTHERS THEY DO NOT HAVE TO START SCHOOL UNTIL THEY ARE SEVEN OR EIGHT. HOW FAR DO YOU AGREE WITH EITHER OF THESE VIEWS? PN1X
Nowadays, there has been much discussion concerning the appropriate age of children to attend formal courses. Some nations encourage their citizens to start joining formal education at four years old. Nonetheless, others believe that the most suitable age for children to study in school is up to seven years old. I agree with the latter view due to some reasons that will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, some people claim that acquiring formal education in the early age is essential due to some benefits. First of all, toddler attending kindergarten will have better social skills because they will meet new friends, start to build relationship, and learn about teamwork in schools. Those merits could not be derived from their homes due to the different circumstances, where they only communicate with their immediate families. Furthermore, education institutions have a strict guideline to teach their pupils related attitude, and thus children will become more discipline and more polite. Nonetheless, I disagree with those aforementioned arguments. I believe that children below seven years of age need more flexible time to play with their parents, which could be cut off if they should be in schools. First, spending much time with their parents, will contribute to the development of their cognitive skills. Research depicts that children playing and studying with their parents in the early age have better critical thinking to solve various types of problem. Moreover, the emotions of children under seven are not stable yet, and therefore they should be taught patiently with an affection. Parents are the most suitable educators for their offspring because they can be generously patient to teach them. In conclusion, some countries have advised their younger residents to acquire formal courses in the very young age because they could enhance their social skills and attitudes. Nevertheless, I disagree because children under seven years old need to spend longer time with their parents, and I believe parents are the best educators for them.
Nowadays, there has been much discussion concerning the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
courses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
nations encourage their citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education at four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Nonetheless, others believe that the most suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study in school is up to seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that will
be discussed
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education in the early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is essential due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, toddler attending kindergarten will have better social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to build relationship, and learn about teamwork in schools. Those merits could not
be derived
from their homes due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
communicate with their immediate families.
Furthermore
, education institutions have a strict guideline to teach their pupils related attitude, and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become more discipline and more polite.

Nonetheless, I disagree with those aforementioned arguments. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
below seven years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
need more flexible time to play with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off if they should be in schools.
First
, spending much time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, will contribute to the development of their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Research depicts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
playing and studying with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
have better critical thinking to solve various types of problem.
Moreover
, the emotions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under seven are not stable
yet
, and
therefore
they should
be taught
patiently
with an affection.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the most suitable educators for their offspring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can be
generously
patient to teach them.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have advised their younger residents to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
courses in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could enhance their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and attitudes.
Nevertheless
, I disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
need to spend longer time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the best educators for them.
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IELTS essay IN SOME COUNTRIES IT IS THOUGHT ADVISABLE THAT CHILDREN BEGIN FORMAL EDUCATION AT FOUR YEARS OLD, WHILE IN OTHERS THEY DO NOT HAVE TO START SCHOOL UNTIL THEY ARE SEVEN OR EIGHT. HOW FAR DO YOU AGREE WITH EITHER OF THESE VIEWS?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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