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In some countries, increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast foods. Therefore, government should impose higher taxes in this kind of food. Do you agree/ disagree. v.1

In some countries, increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast foods. Therefore, government should impose higher taxes in this kind of food. Do you agree/ disagree. v. 1
Due to urbanization and exposure to the multiple cuisines, people are inclining more towards the junk food which is prone to numerous health ailments. Some people are of the opinion that as these foods is unhealthy, government should also impose strict taxes against them. I accord with this statement. There are umpteen factors why individuals should not consume fast foods. First and foremost reason is that these foods have a high amount of toxic ingredients like Monosodium glutamate, palm oil, which makes these foods feel good at tongue, so people consume high amounts of these foods which results in genetic disorders in children. For instance, reports have shown Maggi contains more than triple amounts of allowed lead and children love eating Maggi on daily basis which results in multiple disorders in them in later stages. Another reason is that high consumption of fast foods leads to obesity and as we all know obese people suffer from heart, liver and kidney disorders like cardiac arrest, kidney stones, liver failure etc. For example, In America, a plethora of people is suffering from obesity and heart diseases and the reason is excessive consumption of fast-food in their daily routine. However, fast foods are dangerous, green vegetables are not safe either. Due to the excessive use of pesticides and fertilizers while growing crops, people who consume fruits and green vegetables also suffer from health problems. For example, In India, myriad individuals are suffering from genetic disorders as farmers use pesticides and fertilizers in their fields and sometimes they inject artificial colors in fruits to grow them quickly. To encapsulate, although the enormous intake of fast-food is dangerous and there should be strict measures to restrict their consumption, government first make sure that the other means of food like green vegetables and fruits are also safe to consume.
Due to urbanization and exposure to the multiple cuisines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclining more towards the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is prone to numerous health ailments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is unhealthy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
impose strict taxes against them. I accord with this statement.

There are umpteen factors why individuals should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
First
and foremost reason is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have a high amount of toxic ingredients like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Monosodium
Possible spelling mistake found.
glutamate
, palm oil, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at tongue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
high amounts of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which results in genetic disorders in children.
For instance
, reports have shown
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maggi
contains more than triple amounts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
lead and children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
eating
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maggi
on daily basis which results in multiple disorders in them in later stages. Another reason is that high consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
leads to obesity and as we all know obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from heart, liver and kidney disorders like cardiac arrest, kidney stones, liver failure etc.
For example
, In America, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is suffering from obesity and heart diseases and the reason is excessive consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food in their daily routine.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, green vegetables are not safe either. Due to the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of pesticides and fertilizers while growing crops,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
fruits and green vegetables
also
suffer from health problems.
For example
, In India, myriad individuals are suffering from genetic disorders as farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
pesticides and fertilizers in their fields and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they inject artificial colors in fruits to grow them
quickly
.

To encapsulate, although the enormous intake of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and there should be strict measures to restrict their consumption,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the other means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like green vegetables and fruits are
also
safe to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast foods. Therefore, government should impose higher taxes in this kind of food. Do you agree/ disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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