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In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same schools. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.2

In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same schools. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2
Education is very important in modern world for both males and females and every boy and girl need to get a quality education. In some nations, younger and teenagers get education in separate schools while other countries prefer co-education. In this essay we will discuss advantages and disadvantages of separate and co-education of both genders. First of all, in teenagers there were many problems which the elders need to control and have proper check on them. Education plays a great role in the mind and character building of both male and females. Those nations, which provide separate education for boys and girls, have the opportunity to maintain disciplines in both boys and girls, and most of the time they will give a better result to the society. Secondly, separate education gives opportunity to those students especially girls in many countries, who didn’t want to study in co-education, and they get their required education from those schools in which separate educations are available. However, there are still some drawbacks of separate educations as well. For example, in co-education both boys and girls earn a lot of confidence, enable them to deal with opposite genders, and they face no problems in their professional life. All in all, separate education has some advantages on boys and girls and on the society as well but still it has some disadvantages and some countries provide to co-education to facilitate their generation with modern awareness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in modern world for both males and females and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, younger and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
schools while other countries prefer co-education. In this essay we will discuss advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
and co-education of both genders.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems which the elders need to control and have proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays a great role in the mind and character building of both male and females. Those nations, which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, have the opportunity to maintain disciplines in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, and most of the time they will give a better result to the society.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives opportunity to those students
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, who didn’t want to study in co-education, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from those schools in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
are available.

However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
as well
.
For example
, in co-education both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
confidence, enable them to deal with opposite genders, and they face no problems in their professional life.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and on the society
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries provide to co-education to facilitate their generation with modern awareness.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same schools. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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