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In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. 0N5l
Children are god's gift. Today Children's upbringing is a critical matter to every parent. Different countries have different rules for children, which should be beneficial to their life. For children's growth some strictness and freedom are required. To start with, some countries imply strict rules of behavior which is necessary to some extent. In order with strict rules, children should learn to give respect to elder people, how to behave with them and learn many good things from them. Children are the future of society and with needy rules, they become ideal and responsible citizens. If impose very strict rules that can sometimes lead to an adverse effect on them, due to this quite often children's morale breakdown and becomes mentally weak. Parents have to take care of their children and decide to which extent strictness is required. Moreover, other countries give them an equal amount of freedom and allow them whatever they want to do. Some countries have various policies for children's development, they mainly prefer practical knowledge and explained them very good things with a good example. For example, to show them social stories, rhymes on different subject and aware them to respect of society's people. Parents have to look after children to what extent allow to do anything they want. Giving them a freedom that can help to build their confidence and become spiritually, mentally, physically strong. To sum up, for children's good upbringing some strict and free rules are required and both of these rules are like two sides of a coin. Each side is necessary for children.
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Children
are god's gift.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
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Children's
upbringing is a critical matter to every parent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
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countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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rules
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which should be beneficial to their life. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strictness and freedom
are required
.

To
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start
with,
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some
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countries
imply
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strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of behavior which is necessary to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. In order with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
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children
should learn to give respect to elder
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people
, how to behave with them and learn
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many
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good
things from them.
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Children
are the future of society and with needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, they become ideal and responsible citizens. If impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that can
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sometimes
lead to an adverse effect on them, due to this quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
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children's
morale breakdown and becomes mentally weak. Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and decide to which extent strictness
is required
.

Moreover
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
give them an equal amount of freedom and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them whatever they want to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have various policies for
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children's
development, they
mainly
prefer practical knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example.
For example
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them social stories, rhymes on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subject and aware them to respect of society's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Parents
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have to
look after
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children
to what extent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
anything they want. Giving them a freedom that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build their confidence and become
spiritually
, mentally,
physically
strong.

To sum up, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
upbringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
and free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are required
and both of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are like two sides of a coin. Each side is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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