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In Some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In Some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? BVX5
These days, children can attain any fixed goals with lots of hard work, and this notion of advice has become the trend in society. This suggestion generates the feeling of success and concentration, whereas, at the same time, this advice can lead to depression and dissatisfaction. When children are advised to practice efforts to reach their goals, they become successful. If they do not possess this perception, children will not be successful in their life. It is widely accepted that practice is the key to success. When an amateur starts the first time, he cannot perform well and fails many times, but children who understand the importance of dedication can hit the peak level in a short period. Moreover, another benefit is that children experience the significance of concentration if they are diverted towards trying so much. Not only do offspring attain attention in achieving the goal, but also they can balance their social life in their adult age. On the other hand, when children are encouraged with hardworking thought, they can be depressed after failure. Sometimes, after putting intensive energy, children do not get the optimum outcome and then split into tears. As a result, they do not enjoy their present life. Furthermore, after the struggle, offspring may not feel contented as they work best at their level. Instead of this, children must be taught how to live a happy life. With an optimistic notion, offspring can remain satisfied in all situations. To sum up, children are generally motivated towards efforts to settle their ambitions. Although this idea can bring positive outcomes to a great extent to reach the ladder of success, its detrimental results can not be neglected because it may affect children’s health.
These days,
children
can attain any
fixed
goals with lots of
hard
work, and this notion of advice has become the trend in society. This suggestion generates the feeling of success and concentration, whereas, at the same time, this advice can lead to depression and dissatisfaction.

When
children
are advised
to practice efforts to reach their goals, they become successful. If they do not possess this perception,
children
will not be successful in their
life
. It is
widely
accepted
that practice is the key to success. When an amateur
starts
the
first
time, he cannot perform well and fails
many
times,
but
children
who understand the importance of dedication can hit the peak level in a short period.
Moreover
, another benefit is that
children
experience the significance of concentration if they
are diverted
towards trying
so
much. Not
only
do offspring attain attention in achieving the goal,
but
also
they can balance their social
life
in their adult age.

On the other hand
, when
children
are encouraged
with hardworking
thought
, they can
be depressed
after failure.
Sometimes
, after putting intensive energy,
children
do not
get
the optimum outcome and then split into tears.
As a result
, they do not enjoy their present
life
.
Furthermore
, after the struggle, offspring may not feel contented as they work best at their level.
Instead
of this,
children
must
be taught
how to
live
a happy
life
. With an optimistic notion, offspring can remain satisfied in all situations.

To sum up,
children
are
generally
motivated towards efforts to settle their ambitions. Although this
idea
can bring
positive
outcomes to a great extent to reach the ladder of success, its detrimental results can not
be neglected
because
it may affect
children’s
health.
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IELTS essay In Some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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