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Nowadays the way people interact

Nowadays the way people interact OKYy
In recent years modern devices have impacted directly some people’s lifestyle. Several kinds of forms of technologies, which we are using in our life, adopted today’s changing world. I believe that such kinds of changes are affecting well and badly our life. First of all, new technologies are affecting our communicating skills. We can not imagine our life without modern phones and the internet, which we spend 5-6 hours or more every day. Showing our mood, activities and feelings is so easy today by sending different photos, audios and others. Now all humanity is extremely close to each other due to technologies. We are taking unimaginable knowledge from geniuses. Even though they live on another continent. There are two sides to every coin. It is true modern devices are giving lots of conveniences. On the other hand, these may lead to a lack of kindness. For instance, sometimes too many conversations are done with our friends or relatives. You may forget your missing skills, and also it may take extra time of you. Losing your valuable time will show its aspects in your future. Adults or teenagers would start to show their bad behaved behaviour. Besides, texting apart from speaking is being more and more popular. In that case, our listener does not see our emotions and listen to the rhythm. it can be a little bit dangerous because listeners might get upset because of technologies. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages of technologies. How to use it is in our hand.
In recent years modern devices have impacted
directly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s lifestyle. Several kinds of forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, which we are using in our life, adopted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s changing world. I believe that such kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are affecting well and
badly
our life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are affecting our communicating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. We can not imagine our life without modern phones and the internet, which we spend 5-6 hours or more every day. Showing our mood, activities and feelings is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
by sending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
photos, audios
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
all humanity is
extremely
close to each other due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. We are taking unimaginable knowledge from geniuses.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on another continent.

There are two sides to every coin. It is true modern devices are giving lots of conveniences.
On the other hand
, these may lead to a lack of kindness.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conversations
are done
with our friends or relatives. You may forget your missing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and
also
it may take extra time of you. Losing your valuable time will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
its aspects in your future. Adults or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaved
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Besides
, texting apart from speaking is being more and more popular.
In that case
, our listener does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
our emotions and listen to the rhythm.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
can be a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
listeners might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
upset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technologies.

In conclusion
, there are both advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. How to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it is in our hand.
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IELTS essay Nowadays the way people interact

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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