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In some countries, children are getting fatter and less fit day by day ,why is it so ? Suggest Solutions.

In some countries, children are getting fatter and less fit day by day, why is it so? Suggest Solutions. BWa89
In modern era, children become inactive in spending their maximum time on mobile phones, television, social media in their leisure time. Due to their unhealthy lifestyle they become couch potato at home. However, this issue can be resolved if the government put restrictions on junk food spots. In this paragraph, the reasons behind this issue can be highlighted. Children are more indulged in technology and therefore, they end up their day spending at home without doing any physical activity. Due to COVID-19, as there was lockdown, the children become lazy as they have nothing to do just had to sit in froNt of mobile phones for their online classes. But after lockdown, the schools get reopened. The schools should introduce physical activities for the children healthier routine life. In addition, as fast food spots are found everywhere in every city, children end up eating a lot of junk food. These items are Mostly prepared by using a lot of oil which can lead to various diseases like cholesterol. These have a negative impact on the health of young ones who consume them regularly. For this, the authorities should impose restriction on food joints and insist them to provide healthy alternatives. Moreover, the government can make sports mandatory in school curriculum which will not only help children to feel revived but also enable them to become fit. For instances, if schools conduct tournament and events frequently, it will build enthousiasm of children to indulge and participate in physical activities. Hence, introduction of games in school and healthy food alternatives can be beneficial to make children active and fit. In closing, I pen down saying that although fast foods have created a damaging effect on the health of students, the government can deal with the issue by imposing rules and including physical activity institution.
In modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
inactive in spending their maximum time on mobile phones, television, social media in their leisure time. Due to their unhealthy lifestyle they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
couch potato at home.
However
, this issue can
be resolved
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
put restrictions on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
spots.

In this paragraph, the reasons behind this issue can
be highlighted
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are more indulged in technology and
therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up their day spending at home without doing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. Due to COVID-19, as there was lockdown, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
lazy as they have nothing to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had to sit in
Possible spelling mistake found.
froNt
of mobile phones for their online classes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after lockdown, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reopened. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
healthier routine life.

In addition
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
spots
are found
everywhere in every city,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. These items are
Mostly
prepared by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
oil which can lead to various diseases like cholesterol. These have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the health of young ones who consume them
regularly
. For this, the authorities should impose restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
joints and insist them to provide healthy alternatives.

Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sports mandatory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum which will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to feel revived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enable them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
fit. For instances, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
conduct tournament and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
frequently
, it will build
Possible spelling mistake found.
enthousiasm
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to indulge and participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Hence
, introduction of games in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
alternatives can be beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
active and fit.

In closing, I pen down saying that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have created a damaging effect on the health of students, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can deal with the issue by imposing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
institution.
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IELTS essay In some countries, children are getting fatter and less fit day by day, why is it so? Suggest Solutions.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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