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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food Q0PP
Junk food plays a major role in people’s life today. Whether the government should make the tax of them higher or not is one of the issues. However, I believe that a higher tax are able to control the consumption of fast food and make the public healthier. To begin with, this protection will make fast food unaffordable to poor and lazy people. This will force them to cook home-cooked meals. Correspondingly this can cause them inconvenience, it is actually good for people’s health. However, the taxes will not discourage them from buying junk food. Public will continue to eat it, due to their busy schedule. Because nowadays people are working a lot and they are trying to earn money for their living and sometimes they need to buy such food as – hamburger, pizza, twister and so on. So, it means that improving tax on fast food in the city will have only a slight effect on its consumption. However, more and more people are suffering from health problems caused by the unhealthy diet. So, due to the fact that health of the citizens is important to the development of the country. The reason is if a person has his daily meals with the consumption of fast prepared food, it will influence on their productivity. Because as researchers say obesity decrease our productivity and makes us less energetic. And it can affect on the economy of government. Apparently, the responsibility rest with the government to make small steps to increase the tax to make the citizens stronger and healthier, so the quality of national labor market could be avouched to some degree. In conclusion, if the government impose higher tax, the public will reduce the consumption of junk food and will benefit not only the citizens’ health, but also on the economy of a country. But I also believe that the government should take other measures too, such as – making healthier alternatives more affordable.
Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
plays a major role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
of them higher or not is one of the issues.
However
, I believe that a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
are able to control the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the public healthier.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, this protection will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
unaffordable to poor and lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This will force them to cook home-cooked meals.
Correspondingly
this can cause them inconvenience, it is actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
will not discourage them from buying junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Public will continue to eat it, due to their busy schedule.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lot and
they are trying to earn money for their living and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
hamburger, pizza, twister and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it means that improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the city will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a slight effect on its consumption.

However
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems caused by the unhealthy diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the citizens is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the development of the country. The reason is if a person has his daily meals with the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it will influence on their productivity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
as researchers say obesity decrease our productivity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
us less energetic. And it can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Apparently
, the responsibility rest with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
steps to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the citizens stronger and healthier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the quality of national labor market could
be avouched
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree.

In conclusion
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
impose higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, the public will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and will benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the citizens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the economy of a country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
also
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take other measures too, such as
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
making healthier alternatives more affordable.
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IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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