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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? MV06
Recently, too many wild animals have been extincting because of the human activities. This problem is more significant than we thought, so people need to develop a strategy to deal with it. Nature has been damaged by humans. Firstly, with the increasing population, people cut the trees to build apartments or shopping centers. Therefore, because of the over urbanization some animals lost their home, and they did not find a new habitat to exist. As a result, this would lead to ultimately extinction of many species. Another significant reason is poaching. Every year, more than 100. 000 animals are poached, and that would put animals on the endangered list. For instance, leons are killed by hunter day by day in Africa, and there are only a few leons are still alive. Finally, so many people use products that have negative effects on environment, such as a perfume or fossil fuels. These products are main reason of global warming, because the ozon layer has been melting by chemicals which are in these products. Therefore, glaciers started to melt and now too many penguins and polar bears are on the endangered list because of that. This alarming issue ought be solved as soon as possible. First, hunter must be punished by government. For example, people, who poach animal, can pay lots of money or give public services. Other solution is that we should create new areas, like a forest, for animals that are on the verge of extinction. Also, all of us should stop using products, which are harmful for environment. In conclusion, people caused a lot of environmental damages, and that affected different types of animal’s life. People must work co-operatively and deal with this cricual problem.
Recently, too
many
wild
animals
have been extincting
because
of the human activities. This problem is more significant than we
thought
,
so
people
need to develop a strategy to deal with it.

Nature has
been damaged
by humans.
Firstly
, with the increasing population,
people
cut
the trees to build apartments or shopping centers.
Therefore
,
because
of the over urbanization
some
animals
lost their home, and they did not find a new habitat to exist.
As a result
, this would lead to
ultimately
extinction of
many
species. Another significant reason is poaching. Every year, more than 100. 000
animals
are poached
, and that would put
animals
on the endangered list.
For instance
,
leons
are killed
by hunter day by day in Africa, and there are
only
a few
leons
are
still
alive.
Finally
,
so
many
people
use
products
that have
negative
effects on environment, such as a perfume or fossil fuels. These
products
are main reason of global warming,
because
the
ozon
layer has been melting by chemicals which are in these
products
.
Therefore
, glaciers
started
to melt and
now
too
many
penguins and polar bears are on the endangered list
because
of that.

This alarming issue ought
be solved
as
soon
as possible.
First
, hunter
must
be punished
by
government
.
For example
,
people
, who poach
animal
, can pay lots of money or give public services. Other solution is that we should create new areas, like a forest, for
animals
that are on the verge of extinction.
Also
, all of us should
stop
using
products
, which are harmful for environment.

In conclusion
,
people
caused
a lot of
environmental damages, and that
affected
different
types of
animal’s
life.
People
must
work co-
operatively
and deal with this
cricual
problem.
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IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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