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Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.31

The wealth of a nation is dependent on the state of mind of its citizens. There is a saying that goes thus; "A healthy man is a wealthy man". I strongly agree that health services should be made free for the citizens of everything country. The percentage of dependents in a country is on the rise compared to the independent. A country where its citizens pay taxes and carry out their due deligence to ensure that law and order of its country is upheld should in turn give it's citizenry the benefit of a free health care. It is saddening to hear that a child dies just because his/her parent could not afford health care bills that are not up to thousands of Naira. It is unfair to the human rights of a human who was involved in an accident to be left to die because there was nobody to foot his/her medical bills. We have thousands of governmental and non governmental organisations who do not carry out their corporate social responsibilities simply because they have the power to boycott the system. Their organisations are located in the communities of the "poor masses" who can barely feed themselves and yet they turn the other way and let them die. These people opened their communities/homes to them without conditions; it is only just that they get free health care to preserve their generation. If the masses cannot access healthcare and they keep dying, their number reduces and the country gradually crumbles to the ground. The masses are the people who make a country and when they are neglected then there is no country. If 80% of the masses who ought to grow food crops via farming, building houses, road construction, control law and order, nurture the growing generations are all hunted by health related crisis, who then is left to grow the economy of such a country? The introduction of free health care in some sectors of health in Nigeria has tremendously reduced the infant mortality rate. The government in partnership with some of its agencies put in place a system where all babies are given vaccines for free. One of such vaccines that drastically reduced infant/child mortality is the Polio vaccine which is tagged "Kick Polio Out" campaign. This program has been ongoing for a couple of years now. It is safe to say that if the program wasn't set to action, the number of mortalities would have been recorded in millions if not billions, reasons being that the majority of children affected by polio are the ones birthed by malnourished mothers who couldn't afford health care through their term of pregnancy. A nation is termed powerful when the well being of its people becomes its sole mandate.
The wealth of a nation is dependent on the state of mind of its citizens. There is a saying that goes
thus
;
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
A healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is a wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
.

I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services should
be made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for the citizens of everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The percentage of dependents in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is on the rise compared to the independent.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where its citizens pay taxes and carry out their due
Possible spelling mistake found.
deligence
to ensure that law and order of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is upheld
should in turn give
Did you mean “its” (possessive pronoun) instead of ‘it’s’ (short for ‘it is’)?
it's
citizenry the benefit of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

It is saddening to hear that a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his/her parent could not afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
bills that are not up to thousands of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Naira
. It is unfair to the human rights of a human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was involved
in an accident to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was nobody to foot his/her medical bills.

We have thousands of governmental and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with a hyphen.
non governmental
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisations’ is British English.
organisations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not carry out their corporate social responsibilities
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the power to boycott the system. Their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisations’ is British English.
organisations
are located
in the communities of the
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
poor masses
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
barely
feed
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves and
yet
they turn the other way and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opened their communities/homes to them without conditions; it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to preserve their generation.

If the masses cannot access
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthcare and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
dying, their number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
gradually
crumbles to the ground.

The masses are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and when they
are neglected
then there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If 80% of the masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
ought to grow food crops via farming, building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, road construction, control law and order, nurture the growing generations are all hunted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related crisis,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
then is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to grow the economy of such a country?

The introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in Nigeria has
tremendously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the infant mortality rate. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in partnership with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its agencies put in place a system where all babies are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
vaccines for free.

One of such vaccines that
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
infant/child mortality is the Polio vaccine which
is tagged
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
Kick Polio Out
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
campaign. This program has been ongoing for a couple of years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. It is safe to say that if the program wasn't set to action, the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
mortalities
would have
been recorded
in millions if not billions, reasons being that the majority of children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by polio are the ones birthed by malnourished mothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
couldn't afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
through their term of pregnancy.

A nation
is termed
powerful when the
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
becomes
its sole mandate.
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IELTS essay Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive.

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
458 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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