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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.26

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 26
In many countries, there is a huge income disparity among people. This is because some citizen are earning more revenue that is better for a nation. However, others think that the authority must be controlled and limited the amount of money that the people can earn. This essay will highlight both points of view and express an opinion at the end. On the one hand, some people believe that the huge salaries might support the development of a nation. Firstly, the higher revenue would bring a better lifestyle to the citizen. This is because the money always circulates within the state and keeps changing hands. The more and more circulation, maintain the prosperity of the society. Secondly, the earning of huge money means having the best jobs. For instance, if a person has an excellent job, it assists to maintain his/ her financial stability and living standards. In addition, when a person's economic status has improved, then automatically, it supports the national growth. On the other hand, the administrative should check the upward movements of salary because the huge income disparity can create intense competition in a community. Excess competitive environment can make human life awful. As a result, the residents start to compare them with another rather than enjoying what they already have. Moreover, it can create mental stress and anxiety. Similarly, the wide range of earning difference can lead to criminal activities. For example, the destitute would prefer to grow up like the wealthy man and attempt to rob of the bank, stealing and many more. To conclude this, although the higher earning may benefit a certain section of the state, it leads to unhealthy competition and offender activities. Hence, I tend to believe that it is the government to regulate the income difference between the citizen.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
income disparity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "citizens"?
citizen
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
more revenue
that is
better for a nation.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be controlled
and limited the amount of money that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can earn. This essay will highlight both points of view and express an opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
salaries might support the development of a nation.
Firstly
, the higher revenue would bring a better lifestyle to the citizen. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the money always circulates within the state and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
changing hands. The more and more circulation, maintain the prosperity of the society.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
money means having the best jobs.
For instance
, if a person has an excellent job, it assists to maintain his/ her financial stability and living standards.
In addition
, when a person's economic status has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, then
automatically
, it supports the national growth.

On the other hand
, the administrative should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the upward movements of salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
income disparity can create intense competition in a community. Excess competitive environment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
human life awful.
As a result
, the residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to compare them with another
rather
than enjoying what they already have.
Moreover
, it can create mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety.
Similarly
, the wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
difference can lead to criminal activities.
For example
, the destitute would prefer to grow up like the wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and attempt to rob of the bank, stealing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

To conclude
this, although the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
may benefit a certain section of the state, it leads to unhealthy competition and offender activities.
Hence
, I tend to believe that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to regulate the income difference between the citizen.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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