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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v.17

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 17
People have very high wages in some states. It is view of the few persons that this is awesome for the state whereas other believe that salaries should be controlled by the state and out restrictions on spending. In my opinion the state should control the salaries as this can prove to be a better system for living. This will lead to equal distribution of wealth among masses. Thus resulting in better living standard for all the people. The government will be controlling the salaries, causing equality of salaries among the people of same expertise. There will be equal distribution of wealth as all the masses will get the salaries according to their expertise. This will cause them to afford the same standard of living. This will cause the equal distribution of wealth and none will have to worry about the food and cloth. They will be affording everything equally. Their spending will be equal. When some people earn huge salaries this causes segregation of revenue among the few people resulting in poverty. The living standard of some people is very high while others have to live with lots of problems. Limiting the salary results in equal distribution of prosperity. Everyone afford the basic necessities of life. Tensions and worries of not having enough to eat or drink or wear etc. Are one of the huge problems of one's life. These problems are removed with this system. To conclude, it is best that the government should control the salaries and limit the amount people can earn because this proves to be a better way of living peacefully. Removing worries and tensions from people's lives and provide them an equal standard of living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high wages in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
. It is view of the few persons that this is awesome for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
whereas other believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
should
be controlled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
and out restrictions on spending. In my opinion the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
should control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
as this can prove to be a better system for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. This will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
of wealth among masses.
Thus
resulting in better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
for all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will be controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
, causing equality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of same expertise. There will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
of wealth as all the masses will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
according to their expertise. This will cause them to afford the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. This will cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
of wealth and none will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the food and cloth. They will be affording everything
equally
. Their spending will be equal.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
this causes segregation of revenue among the few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
resulting in poverty. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high while others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with lots of problems. Limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
of prosperity. Everyone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "affords".
afford
the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life. Tensions and worries of not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to eat or drink or wear etc. Are one of the huge problems of one's life. These problems
are removed
with this system.

To conclude
, it is best that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and limit the amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this proves to be a better way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
peacefully
. Removing worries and tensions from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and provide them an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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