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In some counties, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs.

In some counties, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs. 0B6AB
Nowadays, it can be very difficult for aged people to find a job despite they have more experience than youngers. To start with, there are serval reasons why they have difficult to find jobs. Firstly, they have no physical ability to work in factories or in other hard-working occupations. Secondly, companies require younger people compared to older people. To consequence, they have least opportunities to find a job. Thirdly, at the age of 50s, elder people are facing many diseases so they are not able to work. On the other hand, it can be solved by measures. Firstly, companies should provide them unphysical works such as monitoring work or some paper bases work. Secondly, aged can work as advisor because of their lot of experience. They can solve may problems in smart ways. As a result, people should offer them to that type of work where they can put their experience. To conclude, there are many jobs are available which aged people can do if they have offered to these jobs.
Nowadays, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
despite they have more experience than
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
serval
reasons why they have difficult to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Firstly
, they have no physical ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in factories or in other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working occupations.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compared to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To consequence, they have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
opportunities to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Thirdly
, at the age of 50s, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not able to work.

On the other hand
, it can
be solved
by measures.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should provide them
Possible spelling mistake found.
unphysical
works such as monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
paper bases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Secondly
, aged can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as advisor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their lot of experience. They can solve may problems in smart ways.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should offer them to that type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
where they can put their experience.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are available which aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do if they have offered to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
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IELTS essay In some counties, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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