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Some parents think it is good to have mobile phones for their children, others disagree with it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some parents think it is good to have mobile phones for their children, others disagree with it. 1m1VL
It is often argued that in this digitalized world as the technology grows up than the person's trends in using the electronic gadgets should also differ. However, several homemates think the same as this statement. Wherein, it is vanurable to have electric items for their kids. While, others opine with this seen. This essay will persue both views and it will also convey my own perseption. It is undeniable that nowadays one digitalized technology of online education has gathered in our country. Because, this application is mostly useful for the kids and adults education level online. And, with the highly qualified tutors. Indeed, with the live interaction classes online. And also, with 3D display facilities they provide during the explanation of the subject lecture. Nonetheless, it is India's famous application for school level education. And, which is Byju's application online demonstration of the topic in that application. As a result, it is mainly applicable for the 1 to 5TH standards and 6 to 12TH standards CBSE schools. Which are connected to the national English level board schools in Delhi. It also provides tablets and live meeting of the Byju's tutor at our house; with a package of Byju's application subscription of the subjects and the streams. On the other hand, the people think that new born baby should not relay on mobile phones. Due to, the pandemic situation mainly the younger generation adults are trying to use more phones. By which our nations health sector economy is increasing. Because, that the social media application like Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp destroys each and every individuals eyes. And, by that the person can have medical crisis. But, they can also be hurested by different ways on social media like bullying, blackmailing, torturing, raping, anxiety, depression and exposure. So; in my belief, the authority should not banned the electronic gadgets. But, they should take strick actions on abundament of social media's application. To recapitulate, parents should strickly put punishment on children using the social media apps. But, not on using the mobile phones. Because, it benefits the children in different ways.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in this digitalized world as the technology grows
Use "upper" to make a comparison with this adjective.
up
than the person's trends in using the electronic gadgets should
also
differ.
However
, several
Possible spelling mistake found.
homemates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the same as this statement. Wherein, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
vanurable
to have electric items for their kids.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, others opine with this
Did you mean "scene"?
seen
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
both views and it will
also
convey my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
perseption
.

It is undeniable that nowadays one digitalized technology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education has gathered in our country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
is
mostly
useful for the kids and adults education level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. And, with the
highly
qualified tutors.
Indeed
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
interaction classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. And
also
, with 3D display facilities they provide during the explanation of the subject lecture. Nonetheless, it is India's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
for school level education. And, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Byju
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
demonstration of the topic in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
.
As a result
, it is
mainly
applicable for the 1 to 5TH standards and 6 to 12TH standards CBSE schools.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
are connected
to the national English level board schools in Delhi. It
also
provides tablets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
meeting of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Byju
's tutor at our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
; with a package of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Byju
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
subscription of the subjects and the streams.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that new born baby should not relay on mobile phones. Due to, the pandemic situation
mainly
the younger generation adults are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more phones. By which our nations health sector economy is increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
like Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
each and every individuals eyes. And, by that the person can have medical crisis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they can
also
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
hurested
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media like bullying, blackmailing, torturing, raping, anxiety, depression and exposure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
; in my belief, the authority should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "ban"
banned
the electronic gadgets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they should
Possible spelling mistake found.
take strick
actions on
Possible spelling mistake found.
abundament
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media's application.

To recapitulate, parents should
Possible spelling mistake found.
strickly
put punishment on children using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media apps.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, not on using the mobile phones.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, it benefits the children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
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IELTS essay Some parents think it is good to have mobile phones for their children, others disagree with it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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