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In some cities, the government introduced additional tax for using vehicles in rush hour. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

In some cities, the government introduced additional tax for using vehicles in rush hour. Do you think it is positive or negative development? Ar28w
Additional tax is used for using own vehicles in rush hour. It is used as a solution for traffic in urban cities. There are many good and bad consequences for the city. On one hand, keeping tax from using vehicles in rush hour can make merits. This is because it reduces the number of vehicles on the street and increase the number of people using public transportations in the morning. As human instinct, we do not want to spend money for something useless. Therefore, instead of waking up early and driving a car with paying additional tax, they will choose to awake a little bit late and use public transportations such as bus, and subway. On the other hand, keeping tax can stimulate a protest. Many researches claimed that human will build up a strong group when they live with conditions, force, and pressure. For example, there was a protest about the cost of public transportation 3 years ago in Thailand after the government announced that they will keep the tax for someone using their own car in the morning. Then, the protester asked the government that “ how can they use the public transportations because they earn only 200 baths a day? In conclusion, there are merits and drawbacks for both of them. However, I totally agree that it will make negative effects more than positive effects.
Additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles in rush hour. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a solution for traffic in urban cities. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences for the city.

On one hand, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
from using vehicles in rush hour can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
merits. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the number of vehicles on the street and increase the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
in the morning. As human instinct, we do not want to spend money for something useless.
Therefore
,
instead
of waking up early and driving a car with paying additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, they will choose to awake a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
late and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
such as bus, and subway.

On the other hand
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
can stimulate a protest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
researches claimed that human will build up a strong group when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with conditions, force, and pressure.
For example
, there was a protest about the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
3 years ago in Thailand after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
announced that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
using
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car in the morning. Then, the protester asked the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
how can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200 baths a day?

In conclusion
, there are merits and drawbacks for both of them.
However
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
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IELTS essay In some cities, the government introduced additional tax for using vehicles in rush hour. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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