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In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your opinion about this? v.16

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your opinion about this? v. 16
Some portion of the United States has initiated strict legislation to restrict teenagers from roaming outside after the evening. Although, if it is urgent then these youngsters need to accompany their elders to go outside late at night. In this essay, I am going to discuss the rules and regulations of keeping the adolescents safe from myriad crimes. The first and predominant reason for supporting the concept of curfew is the safety of the juveniles. In other words, to keep them away from night clubs, pubs, and also ensure that they stay at home and concentrate on their studies. To exemplify this point we can consider that in the US, most drug dealers perform their operation which is to sell drugs, drinks, and weeds to teenagers at night. It simply clarifies that these dealers are mainly focused on college students as they are in a stage where they want to try new trends and experience every iota of human lifestyles. Another reason which we should consider is that most of these teen students tend to spend the whole night by hangout or doing a party which not only hampers their study and career but also create noise pollution and disturbance to their surroundings. Last but not least staying outside at late night also lead to the problem of hijacking or robbery. Furthermore, these contingent measures regarding hangout at night can be curbed if the teenagers add their respective elders such as parents or brothers with them. These elders company ensures that their children get a safe journey during the night. The drug mongers will feel resistive if they sense teenagers accompanied by adults. The hijackers and robbers might also feel ambivalent by seeing the same. In conclusion, I recapitulate my views that there are innumerable strong reasons to impose such curfew so that our children can isolate themselves from the detrimental impact of crimes outside society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
portion of the United States has initiated strict legislation to restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from roaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
after the evening. Although, if it is urgent then these youngsters need to accompany their elders to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
late at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. In this essay, I am going to discuss the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of keeping the adolescents safe from myriad crimes.

The
first
and predominant reason for supporting the concept of curfew is the safety of the juveniles.
In other words
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
clubs, pubs, and
also
ensure that they stay at home and concentrate on their studies. To exemplify this point we can consider that in the US, most drug dealers perform their operation which is to sell drugs, drinks, and weeds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. It
simply
clarifies that these dealers are
mainly
focused on college students as they are in a stage where they want to try new trends and experience every iota of human lifestyles. Another reason which we should consider is that most of these teen students tend to spend the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
by hangout or doing a party which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hampers their study and career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
create noise pollution and disturbance to their surroundings. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
at late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
also
lead to the problem of hijacking or robbery.

Furthermore
, these contingent measures regarding hangout at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
can
be curbed
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
their respective elders such as parents or brothers with them. These elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
ensures that their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a safe journey during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. The drug mongers will feel resistive if they sense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
accompanied by adults. The hijackers and robbers might
also
feel ambivalent by seeing the same.

In conclusion
, I recapitulate my views that there are innumerable strong reasons to impose such curfew
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that our children can isolate themselves from the detrimental impact of crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
society.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your opinion about this? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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