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Tourism is an excellent way to develop a country, but it can also cause harm. How can countries ensure that tourism benefits the development? v.2

Tourism is an excellent way to develop a country, but it can also cause harm. How can countries ensure that tourism benefits the development? v. 2
It is true that tourists have had tremendous impacts on the host countries’ advancements. Although its negative influences cannot be discarded, I agree that its advantages are remarkably higher. On the one hand, travellers visiting a country may ruin the environment and cultural values of local residents. One of the most important impacts of tourism is pollution. This means, the more visitors travel and visit one region, the more they pollute the surroundings. The amount of disposals and carbon dioxide are fundamentally increased as more visitors travel a region, destroying the natural habitat. In addition, their habits can be against the local residents’ rules. As a prime example, in Emirate, which is an Arab Islamic country in the Middle East, local people may not tolerate a US traveller wearing a bikini in the public, whereas this clothing is not against cultural values of Americans. As a result, tourist resorts are negatively affected by these two obvious consequences. On the other hand, definitely this industry has two important influences on the host country, and I believe that despite having some negative impressions, its benefits are far greater. One important reason behind it is that this industry can improve job opportunity for the local inhabitants. Cleary, the more visitors travel to a specific region, the more hotels, restaurants, and shopping centres will be constructed, and more local citizens will find better job positions. For instance, In Kish Island, located in the South of Iran, as the government allowed there to become an open trade place for foreign traders, and more local people have been finding more job opportunities. Another important positive effect is that countries can expose their culture to other nations. In particular, had not Greece become a tourist attraction for Europeans, they would not have known about its historical places and culture. Since there are tremendous benefits of expansion and popularity of tourism, government and tourism industries can focus on reducing the negative effects by taking many initiatives. The awareness among the visiting tourists could easily be established by giving proper guidance and that would save the environment for getting polluted. The host country should engage more system and manpower to keep the places clean and should impose fine if someone found to violate the rules. The influence of foreign culture among the mass population is another concern that could be tracked by imposing some plausible rules for the visiting tourists. To sum up, governments of countries can assess the positive and negative influences of tourism by looking at cultural, environmental, and vocational aspects. From my perspective, visiting more tourists, local residents can find not only better job positions, but their culture will become more recognisable to other nations. Reducing the bad effects of tourism is another concern that the government and people of the host country can easily control.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
have had tremendous impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
advancements. Although its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
cannot
be discarded
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that its advantages are
remarkably
higher.

On the one hand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may ruin the environment and cultural values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents. One of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is pollution. This means, the more visitors travel and visit one region, the more they pollute the surroundings. The amount of disposals and carbon dioxide are
fundamentally
increased as more visitors travel a region, destroying the natural habitat.
In addition
, their habits can be against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. As a prime example, in Emirate, which is an Arab Islamic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the Middle East,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may not tolerate a US
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
wearing a bikini in the public, whereas this clothing is not against cultural values of Americans.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
resorts are
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by these two obvious consequences.

On the other hand
, definitely this industry has two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and I believe that despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impressions, its benefits are far greater. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
reason behind it is that this industry can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cleary
, the more visitors travel to a specific region, the more hotels, restaurants, and shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
will
be constructed
, and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens will find better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions.
For instance
, In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kish
Island, located in the South of Iran, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
there to become an open trade place for foreign traders, and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been finding more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can expose their culture to other nations.
In particular
, had not Greece become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attraction for Europeans, they would not have known about its historical places and culture.

Since there are tremendous benefits of expansion and popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industries can focus on reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
initiatives. The awareness among the visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could
easily
be established
by giving proper guidance and that would save the environment for getting polluted. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should engage more system and manpower to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the places clean and should impose fine if someone found to violate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of foreign culture among the mass population is another concern that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracked
by imposing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for the visiting tourists.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can assess the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
by looking at cultural, environmental, and vocational aspects. From my perspective, visiting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents can find not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their culture will become more
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognisable' is British English.
recognisable
to other nations. Reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is another concern that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
easily
control.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is an excellent way to develop a country, but it can also cause harm. How can countries ensure that tourism benefits the development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
470 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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