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In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed. What is your opinion about this? v.1

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
It is undeniable that some part of America has become much more dangerous during the certain night hours for youngsters as compared to the past. Because of this reason, a new regulation has been approved, which has been forbidden the allowance of teenagers to go out without an adult escort. Even though the legal practice seems like a restriction, in my opinion, it was necessary for safety reasons. The government has to consider the citizens' security and orient the regulations on behalf of their benefits. There are some similar laws that have been already practiced successfully for many years. For instance, teenagers have to use their vehicles with an experienced mature driver who has a valid driver license, in certain hours and places like highways. This obligation is also for containing youth safe. However, another reason for my support on the curfew is the increase in illegal activities in the US at nights. Some statistical reports from the Time Magazine have illustrated that the crime ratio climbed in some cities and has reached an unprecedented level since 1980s. Youth are easy targets for activities such as robbery and drug use when they are alone at nights. For instance, gang members can use all sorts of tricks to entice a child to join them. Nevertheless, adult guidance can keep adolescences in a safer environment and society. In conclusion, although the danger of the increase in crime rate in some specific cities of America at late hours, the government can protect its young citizens with the power of rule and support of adults.
It is undeniable that
some
part of America has become much more
dangerous
during the certain night hours for youngsters as compared to the past.
Because of this
reason, a new regulation has
been approved
, which has
been forbidden
the allowance of
teenagers
to go out without an adult escort.

Even though
the legal practice seems like a restriction, in my opinion, it was necessary for safety reasons. The
government
has to
consider the citizens' security and orient the regulations on behalf of their benefits. There are
some
similar laws that have been already practiced
successfully
for
many
years.
For instance
,
teenagers
have to
use
their vehicles with an experienced mature driver who has a valid driver license, in certain hours and places like highways. This obligation is
also
for containing youth safe.

However
, another reason for my support on the curfew is the increase in illegal activities in the US at nights.
Some
statistical reports from the Time Magazine have illustrated that the crime ratio climbed in
some
cities and has reached an unprecedented level since 1980s. Youth
are
easy targets for activities such as robbery and drug
use
when they are alone at nights.
For instance
, gang members can
use
all sorts of tricks to entice a child to
join
them.
Nevertheless
, adult guidance can
keep
adolescences in a safer environment and society.

In conclusion
, although the
danger
of the increase in crime rate in
some
specific cities of America at late hours, the
government
can protect its young citizens with the power of
rule
and support of adults.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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