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In recent years women have been working in equality with the men not only in foreign countries but in India as well.

In recent years women have been working in equality with the men not only in foreign countries but in India as well. While there are many benefits to this trend, there are certain drawbacks to be considered. In this essay, I will discuss both the positives and negatives associated with it. To begin with the merits, a crucial advantage of this phenomenon is women independency. This is because when they would go out to earn, then they might not be dependent upon their family for there desires. For example, many non-working ladies are often seen demanding their partners for their needs, as they lack the funds, while this might not be the case on the other side. Besides this, a female could become a worthy member of a family and gets socialised at the same time. As they tend to go out, meet with new folks, and build fresh links. Due to their working abilities and experience, they are looked upon their advice as well. Nevertheless, this scenario presents some problems also. For instance, children get deprived of their mother's love, as a consequence to which there could be less affection among the kids for their mom. Considering the depth of this situation it is significant that this could be a lot for a lady to bear. Another major demerit of this system is that females might end up lacking time for themselves. For example, after engaging for 7 hours in their job, they have to reach home to see their family as a result no slot for themselves. In conclusion, although supporting a family by a girl could be a boon but there are enormous effects which could not be unseen.
In recent years women have been working in equality with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in foreign countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in India
as well
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to this trend, there are certain drawbacks to
be considered
. In this essay, I will discuss both the positives and negatives associated with it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the merits, a crucial advantage of this phenomenon is women
Possible spelling mistake found.
independency
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they would go out to earn, then they might not be dependent upon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for
Did you mean “their”?
there
desires.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
non-working ladies are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
demanding their partners for their needs, as they lack the funds, while this might not be the case on the other side.
Besides
this, a female could become a worthy member of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
Possible spelling mistake. ‘socialised’ is British English.
socialised
at the same time. As they tend to go out,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with new folks, and build fresh links. Due to their working abilities and experience, they
are looked
upon their advice
as well
.

Nevertheless
, this scenario presents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
also
.
For instance
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deprived of their mother's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, as a
The usual preposition to use after “consequence” is not “to”. Did you mean “consequence of”, “consequence for”, or “consequence on”?
consequence to
which there could be less affection among the kids for their mom. Considering the depth of this situation it is significant that this could be a lot for a lady to bear. Another major demerit of this system is that females might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up lacking time for themselves.
For example
, after engaging for 7 hours in their job, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reach home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as a result
no slot for themselves.

In conclusion
, although supporting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by a girl could be a boon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are enormous effects which could not be unseen.
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IELTS essay In recent years women have been working in equality with the men not only in foreign countries but in India as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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