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In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst younger generations. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development? v.4

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst younger generations. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development? v. 4
The popularity of used clothes among young people has been increasing these days. This is happening because of the scarcity of money and unemployment and I believe this trend is positive since it can decrease the environmental problems. The young people are facing financial difficulties these days because they are not getting jobs. In other words, the unemployment rate among youngsters has been increased drastically, and they can not afford to buy new clothes. Therefore, they prefer to buy cheap products, and second hand clothes are pocket friendly for them. For example, a recent survey conducted by the Guardian revealed that 55% of students in Canada admitted that they buy their clothes from the stores that sells used clothes because they do not have enough money to spend on new clothes. I believe that people buying second-clothes is positive because it can help to reduce environmental issues such as water pollution. That is to say, the chemicals used to produce clothes are very harmful to the environment. Many rivers are already polluted with these chemicals, and they are the reason for water pollution. Thus, if people begin to buy used clothes the production of new clothes will be reduced and this will result in reducing water pollution. For instance, a report published by the Times of India suggested that the chemicals used in manufacturing of clothes are the major reason for water pollution in some countries. In conclusion, the trend of buying used clothes has been increasing between the youngsters because they have a shortage of money due to unemployment and I think this is a positive development, as it will help in reducing environmental issues.
The popularity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been increasing these days. This is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the scarcity of money and unemployment and I believe this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
since it can decrease the environmental problems.

The young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing financial difficulties these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not getting jobs.
In other words
, the unemployment rate among youngsters has
been increased
drastically
, and they can not afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Therefore
, they prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
products, and second hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are pocket friendly for them.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by the Guardian revealed that 55% of students in Canada admitted that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
from the stores that sells
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to spend on new clothes.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying second-clothes is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
environmental issues such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
That is
to say, the chemicals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
rivers are already polluted with these chemicals, and they are the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Thus
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
the production of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and this will result in reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For instance
, a report published by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
suggested that the chemicals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in manufacturing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are the major reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.

In conclusion
, the trend of buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
has been increasing between the youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a shortage of money due to unemployment and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing environmental issues.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst younger generations. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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