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In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think this trend is positive or negative?

In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think this trend is positive or negative? JYl7j
Due to the world’s changes in demands, incomes and lifestyle of people, the family structure and the onuses of each member have been transformed these years. Likewise, both benefits and drawbacks go along with this. While extended families were noted in the past, nuclear families are now prevailing in society. Since the living costs experience an upturn day by day, families commonly consist of fewer than three generations living together to assure the quality of life. This influences parents to share responsibilities for maintaining their lives, supposing that the independence of women and men in their finances is equivalent. Supporting gender equality, both men and women can access education more equally compared to medieval periods, their children could be educated and taken care of thoroughly by both parents. Moreover, families are not dependent on their monarch, instead, the authority of decision making as well as daily activities are subdivided evenly for members in both genders. Besides, there are more families of a single parent in this modern world based on the high divorce rates. These parents would have to do the responsibilities of both parents in a normal family. The shifts of family structures and members’ roles have brought positive and negative impacts. Regarding the benefits, the age gap between members can be melted down, which helps reduce conflicts about either lifestyle or perceptions between young and old generations. Moreover, as the family size is reduced, it is easier for family members to manage their daily payments effectively. As mentioned about gender equality and decision making, family members can have two-direction communication while respecting each other, thus everybody can be involved in discussing and enhancing their unity. Considering downsides, it will be challenging for nuclear families that have parents working from nine to five to look after their children that might affect their education and health. In this place, traditional families could be privileged since grandparents can support parents to take care of children when their parents are busy. Likewise, the bonding between family members could be weaken because of different living.
Due to the world’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in demands, incomes and lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure and the onuses of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
have
been transformed
these years.
Likewise
, both benefits and drawbacks go along with this.

While extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
were noted
in the past, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prevailing in society. Since the living costs experience an upturn day by day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
commonly
consist of fewer than three generations living together to assure the quality of life. This influences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to share responsibilities for maintaining their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, supposing that the independence of women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in their finances is equivalent. Supporting gender equality, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women can access education more
equally
compared to medieval periods, their children could
be educated
and taken care of
thoroughly
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not dependent on their monarch,
instead
, the authority of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
as well
as daily activities
are subdivided
evenly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in both genders.
Besides
, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
in this modern world based on the high divorce rates. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do the responsibilities of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in a normal family.

The shifts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members’
roles have brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. Regarding the benefits, the age gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can
be melted
down, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
conflicts about either lifestyle or perceptions between young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generations.
Moreover
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to manage their daily payments
effectively
. As
Did you mean simply "mentioned gender"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioned about gender
equality and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can have two-direction communication while respecting each other,
thus
everybody can
be involved
in discussing and enhancing their unity. Considering downsides, it will be challenging for nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
working from nine to five to look after their children that might affect their education and health. In this place, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
could
be privileged
since grandparents can support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take care of children when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy.
Likewise
, the bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
could be
Consider using the past participle "weakened"?
weaken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
living.
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IELTS essay In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think this trend is positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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