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In recent years,the number of people choosing to move abroad to live or study is increasing notably.

In recent years, the number of people choosing to move abroad to live or study is increasing notably. 2KbrX
In recent years, the number of people choosing to move abroad to live or study is increasing notably.  This phenomenon occurs because there are better academic and professional opportunities abroad. However, from my perspective,  the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages. Firstly, it is undeniable that moving to a foreign country to live has some difficulties. It is when expatriates face most of the challenges of living abroad including culture shock and homesickness. For example, when moving to a new land, most of people might feel confused when their adopt to a new culture, such as the language barrier lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication when communicating. Each country has different culture, it is quite difficult for a person to get used to other local customs when they first arrive. Moreover, a racism is also a critical problem in most countries of the world especially skin color discrimination, leading to many riots and conflicts. However, the benefits of this situation are greater than it drawbacks. It is clear that when people leaving their hometown and choosing to move abroad, they will experience different culture and traditions, it is a good opportunity to broaden their horizon. About education, study abroad makes it possible for people to learn from the others from all over the world, bringing a new perspectives, it is also encourage each person’s independence because of living away from home and international qualifications could be a vital positive factor contributing to the future job. Likewise, working in another country make people learns various skills, offering a professional work environment and might be a promotion opportunity makes people earn a high salary. In conclusion, i believe that living overseas has more advantages than disadvantages. As a result, this experience can bring several positive changes into your life with greater opportunities and personal development
In recent years, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
 or study is increasing
notably
.  This phenomenon occurs 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
 there are better academic and professional opportunities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
However
, from my perspective,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the advantages
clearly
outweigh the disadvantages.

Firstly
, it is undeniable that moving to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties. It is when expatriates face most of the challenges of living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock and homesickness.
For example
, when moving to a new land, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might feel confused when their
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, such as the language barrier lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication when communicating. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it is quite difficult for a person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to other local customs when they
first
arrive.
Moreover
, a racism is
also
a critical problem in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the world
especially
skin color discrimination, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
riots and conflicts.

However
, the benefits of this situation are greater than
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it drawbacks
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leaving their hometown and choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, they will experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to broaden their horizon. About education, study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn from the others from all over the world, bringing a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "perspective"?
perspectives
, it is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "encouraged".
encourage
each person’s independence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of living away from home and international qualifications could be a vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
factor contributing to the future job.
Likewise
, working in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
learns
various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, offering a professional work environment and might be a promotion opportunity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn a high salary.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that living overseas has more advantages than disadvantages.
As a result
, this experience can bring several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
into your life with greater opportunities and personal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
development

IELTS essay In recent years, the number of people choosing to move abroad to live or study is increasing notably.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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