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In recent years, more and more peole are choosing e-books rather than paper-based books. Do the advantage of eBooks outweigh its drawbacks?

In recent years, more and more peole are choosing e-books rather than paper-based books. Do the advantage of eBooks outweigh its drawbacks? E9JJM
In recent years, due to the Internet, traditional paper books are replaced by electronic books. And a number of people prefer to read e-books rather than reading in a traditional way. While many people think that there are many drawbacks of eBooks, I do believe that the benefits of reading books electronically overweight the drawbacks. Firstly, one of the drawbacks of it is that reading books by looking at computer screens or mobile phones has bad cause for our eyesight. People who read a book for hours in this way can receive damaging effect on their vision due to produced rays from mobile devices. Secondly, a variety of excellent books have been published only in traditional paper based books. Thus, finding such kind of books can sometimes be impossible, and some people who want read them by their hand-held devices have to go to the library. On the other hand, the main benefit of eBooks is that readers can carry their devices containing different books with themselves wherever they want to go, which can be inconvenient for readers of physical one. Moreover, I believe that digital books are environment-friendly, for cutting trees and damaging to our nature is required to produce papers for publishing paper-based books. In conclusion, many people prefer reading digital book because carrying their gadgets which contains a variety of books conveniently is possible and they can limit their contribution to reducing forests. Thus, I believe that the benefits of reading e-books convincingly dominate the drawbacks of it.
In recent years, due to the Internet, traditional paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are replaced
by electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. And a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to read e-books
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
Consider replacing "in a traditional way" with the adverb for "traditional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a traditional way
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks of
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eBooks
, I do believe that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
electronically
overweight the drawbacks.

Firstly
, one of the drawbacks of it is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
by looking at computer screens or mobile phones has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
cause for our eyesight.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
for hours in this way can receive damaging effect on their vision due to produced rays from mobile devices.
Secondly
, a variety of excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
been published
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in traditional paper based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Thus
, finding such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be impossible, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want read them by their hand-held devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the library.

On the other hand
, the main benefit of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eBooks
is that readers can carry their devices containing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with themselves wherever they want to go, which can be inconvenient for readers of physical one.
Moreover
, I believe that digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are environment-friendly, for cutting trees and damaging to our nature
is required
to produce papers for publishing paper-based books.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
carrying their gadgets which contains a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
conveniently
is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
possible and
they can limit their contribution to reducing forests.
Thus
, I believe that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books
convincingly
dominate the drawbacks of it.
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IELTS essay In recent years, more and more peole are choosing e-books rather than paper-based books. Do the advantage of eBooks outweigh its drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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