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In many countries, the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. Is it a negative or positive development ?

In many countries, the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. Is it a negative or positive development? 7pwn3
These days, many nations have seen rapid growth of the older population. Although some people believe that this phenomenon brings some benefits, I argue that it also has drawbacks for the community. On the one hand, it is true that older adults have been appreciated as a valuable and essential resource to our community. Perhaps the principal reason is that people of retirement age have a great deal of spare time, which allows them to help their family members and other people in difficult conditions in society. For example, when Covid-19 broke out strongly, thousands of retired doctors, with their specialized knowledge and practical experience accumulated through the years, volunteered to work as medical consultants in some hot spots, where there are a plethora of patients. Moreover, the rate of the aged population increasing proves that the healthcare system is advanced. This creates the opportunity of developing more top-notch technology and high-tech devices to meet the healthcare demand of these older people. On the other hand, this upward trend has plenty of negative impacts on society. Firstly, there is an imbalance in the workforce due to the lack of young labor having highly specialized skills as well as expertise, hence the economic recession. As a result, the government has measures to encourage people to have more children in the hope of refilling this gap. Secondly, a country with an aging population will put huge pressure on the national budget. Indeed, the rising number of the old people means a greater amount of pensions as well as social welfare, leading to the decrease of the funds spent on other issues such as education or housing shortage. In conclusion, despite the upsides of the age population, it is undeniable that this tendency has detrimental effects and the government should take feasible actions to tackle this problem.
These days,
many
nations have
seen
rapid growth of the older
population
. Although
some
people
believe that this phenomenon brings
some
benefits, I argue that it
also
has drawbacks for the community.

On the one hand, it is true that older adults have
been appreciated
as a valuable and essential resource to our community. Perhaps the principal reason is that
people
of retirement age have a great deal of spare time, which
allows
them to
help
their family members and other
people
in difficult conditions in society.
For example
, when Covid-19 broke out
strongly
, thousands of retired doctors, with their specialized knowledge and practical experience accumulated through the years, volunteered to work as medical consultants in
some
hot spots, where there are a plethora of patients.
Moreover
, the rate of the aged
population
increasing proves that the healthcare system
is advanced
. This creates the opportunity of developing more top-notch technology and high-tech devices to
meet
the healthcare demand of these older
people
.

On the other hand
, this upward trend has
plenty
of
negative
impacts on society.
Firstly
, there is an imbalance in the workforce due to the lack of young labor having
highly
specialized
skills
as well
as expertise,
hence
the economic recession.
As a result
, the
government
has measures to encourage
people
to have more children in the hope of refilling this gap.
Secondly
, a country with an aging
population
will put huge pressure on the national budget.
Indeed
, the rising number of the
old
people
means a greater amount of pensions
as well
as social welfare, leading to the decrease of the funds spent on other issues such as education or housing shortage.

In conclusion
, despite the upsides of the age
population
, it is undeniable that this tendency has detrimental effects and the
government
should take feasible actions to tackle this problem.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. Is it a negative or positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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