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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.14

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 14
Numerous local small scale businesses have been forced to shut down as a consequence of people turning to big shopping centres to buy their daily needs. This essay will discuss the repercussions of industry giants eating up local shops. Local markets are a source of livelihood for many. As more and more customers move to their shopping preferences to malls, people working in these local shops are getting unemployed. Big trade houses lure customers by offering heavy discounts thereby compelling them to shift their purchasing preferences. As a consequence, these brands eat up the business at the local shops eventually forcing them to draw the curtains to their field. For example, Sham fashions in Chandigarh which was an iconic shopping destination among locals was forced to shut down as a result of declining work thereby making their staff unemployed overnight. Regional production of articles also suffers due to the shift in customers buying behaviour. Shops selling traditional clothes and other products become obsolete with the advent of big brand stores. These shopping centres pose a serious threat to local culture. For example, Varanasi silk sarees which were hugely sought after and were an identity of the city, are now on a brink of extinction as western dresses are more popular among consumers. Hence, people get disconnected from their traditional values. To conclude, with the advent of huge shopping centres or malls the buying behaviour of consumers has been changed drastically. This has jeopardized the survival of local markets, which is now facing a risk of extinction.
Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale businesses have
been forced
to shut down as a consequence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
turning to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their daily needs. This essay will discuss the repercussions of industry giants eating up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops.

Local markets are a source of livelihood for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. As more and more customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
preferences to malls,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops are getting unemployed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
trade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
lure customers by offering heavy discounts thereby compelling them to shift their purchasing preferences. As a consequence, these brands eat up the business at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops
eventually
forcing them to draw the curtains to their field.
For example
, Sham fashions in Chandigarh which was an iconic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
destination among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
was forced
to shut down
as a result
of declining work thereby making their staff unemployed overnight.

Regional production of articles
also
suffers due to the shift in customers buying
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Shops selling traditional clothes and other products become obsolete with the advent of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
brand stores. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
pose a serious threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.
For example
, Varanasi silk sarees which were
hugely
sought after and were an identity of the city, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on a brink of extinction as western dresses are more popular among consumers.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disconnected from their traditional values.

To conclude
, with the advent of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or malls the buying
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of consumers has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. This has jeopardized the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
facing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of extinction.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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