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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development. v.13

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development. v. 13
A majority of local shops are being closed in recent years due to the shift over by citizens to visit shopping malls and centres for their daily goods and shopping. This trend is still continuing, and I treat this as a positive phenomenon in society, as the quality of goods can be assured with branded and renowned shopping malls. First and foremostly, day to day lives of citizens are being jeopardized due to detrimental quality of products in the market. The major source of these goods is from local community shops established in every corner of streets. The profits generated from local shops have become a critical source of income for many local business owners. Decreasing the quality of goods is the only way to get them the required profits. For example, local shopkeepers are bringing the second hand material and goods from retail markets to sell at standard prices to the households. On the other hand, due to consideration of quality as an important factor, citizens are shifting over to big shopping malls to buy their goods. For instance, large shopping malls established in populated areas are taking responsibility for the quality of products and ready to replace them with new ones if found damaged. Moreover, people can plan their consumables at a time and can spend money on this with a proper budget plan, so that they will be able to track their expenses for better financial management. To conclude, Even though, the bread and butter of the local shop owners are taken off by avoiding visits, encouraging people to visit shopping malls and branded showrooms make lives more hygiene and healthier. Alternatively, the government can plan and encourage for alternative business options to the local community shop owners for saving the health of citizens.
A majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are
being closed
in recent years due to the shift over by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
for their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. This trend is
still
continuing, and I treat this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon in society, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
can
be assured
with branded and renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls.

First
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
foremostly
, day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
are
being jeopardized
due to detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of products in the market. The major source of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
established in every corner of streets. The profits generated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have become a critical source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business owners. Decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them the required profits.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shopkeepers are bringing the second hand material and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from retail markets to sell at standard prices to the households.

On the other hand
, due to consideration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
are shifting over to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
For instance
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
established in populated areas are taking responsibility for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of products and ready to replace them with new ones if found damaged.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can plan their consumables at a time and can spend money on this with a proper budget plan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
their expenses for better financial management.

To conclude
,
Even though
, the bread and butter of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners
are taken
off by avoiding visits, encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and branded showrooms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more hygiene and healthier.
Alternatively
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can plan and encourage for alternative business options to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners for saving the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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