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in recent years,many local small shops were closed since many people do their shopping in shopping malls. This is positive or negative development

in recent years, many local small shops were closed since many people do their shopping in shopping malls. This is positive or negative development oxwyX
so far, immense shopping malls have had a profound impact on small markets and due to this most of these shops were closed. In my opinion, this is a positive trend according to several benefits offered by shopping malls. It is true that vast majority of people are opting shopping malls as a way of doing their shopping. This is mainly because such kind of shopping centers provide variety of products that customers need ranging from kitchen appliances to modern devices. Besides being a convenient shopping facility, such kind of malls can be a great spot to eat with family or friends and a terrific place to work out or have a fun in playing courts that they offer. An additional advantage of shopping malls is that they can provide with large open spaces for customers to park their cars, whereas small shops do not have this offer at all. As a result of this, customers do not need to panic about their vehicles and also, this can alleviate the traffic jams and congestions take place in bottleneck roads. Moreover, this can save a great deal of customer's time which they spend to seek a particular item by hopping from one shop to another. On the contrary, with shopping malls they are able to save their that they might devote for something vital. To sum up, I affirm that this is a positive development according to several benefits malls offer to customers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
far, immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have had a profound impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
markets and due to this most of these shops
were closed
. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend according to several benefits offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls.

It is true that vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are opting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
as a way of doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers provide variety of products that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
need ranging from kitchen appliances to modern devices.
Besides
being a convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
facility, such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
can be a great spot to eat with family or friends and a terrific place to work out or have a fun in playing courts that they offer.

An additional advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is that they can provide with large open spaces for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to park their cars, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops do not have this offer at all.
As a result
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
do not need to panic about their vehicles and
also
, this can alleviate the traffic jams and congestions take place in bottleneck roads.
Moreover
, this can save a great deal of customer's time which they spend to seek a particular item by hopping from one shop to another.
On the contrary
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
they are able to save their that they might devote for something vital.

To sum up, I affirm that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development according to several benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
offer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
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IELTS essay in recent years, many local small shops were closed since many people do their shopping in shopping malls. This is positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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